n.: a newspaper or similar medium, rolled tight and fashionably stuffed in the rear between the pant waist and the undershorts of a middle aged man. Crack reports can be found anywhere, but are most common at race tracks, betting venues, ball games, and other sporting events. Most reports, but not all, contain various residue, leftovers and miscellaneous bacteria that is considered unsanitary by the local health department.
by Dr. Josephus October 23, 2008
by Russell Upsomgrub June 05, 2014
by mysterlee May 06, 2009
John got fired from work because he was on candy crack most of his shift.
Jane began playing candy crack as soon as she got home, she played until she candy crashed.
No mom, I don't want to eat dinner i just want to beat the next level of candy crack.
Jane began playing candy crack as soon as she got home, she played until she candy crashed.
No mom, I don't want to eat dinner i just want to beat the next level of candy crack.
by ha haaa December 08, 2014
oh where to begin...picture this: a hot, humid day...you're workin up a nice, sticky sweat for hours and hours without a break. you go to bend over or sit and ever so gently you feel this pricking tug between your swampy moist butt cheeks. you wonder what could it be? a tick? a mosquito? but deep down you know, you know exactly what it is. when you woke at the crack of dawn and did your number in the bathroom, you wiped too hard, using too much toilet paper. This left pills in your sliver which when combined with a hot summer's day and sweat creates a cobweb crack that pulls and pinches with sudden movements. yes folks, ouch is right. but remember, now that you know you can prevent this from happening. a washcloth and water are useful tools after #2's. HELPFUL HINT: a quick swipe with your finger can snap the web...BEWARE: finger might reek of old poop and farts.i forgot to mention its the toilet paper that gets stuck to your butt hairs and pulls to create the pain.
"Ouch, man I just felt a massive prick." "Who you callin prick, Johnny?" "No man, in my butt crack." "Oh come on, not a again, you got cobweb crack again today?" "My alarm clock didn't go off again and you're always early" "I guess you better do the manual snap" "Just don't complain when you get a wiff at lunch when I'm sharin my chips with ya."
by jerry james June 04, 2007
by Nearchow October 31, 2010
by fah q September 28, 2004