Jake

Tiny dick if try to see it you will need 90000000x magnifying glass to see it

I hate Jake penis is so small, Brady’s is nice

by Skinny duck May 11, 2018

jake

To use improper grammar, vocabulary, and/or sentence structure while communicating via text through a mobile device

Oh you really jaked up that sentence.

by JakeItUp February 21, 2017

Jake

A woman with a massive penis

Wow you look like a massive jake.

by John Donavan October 15, 2018

Jake

One who favors ice cream and communism above all, responds to "Communist Scum".
Plural: Jakes

If you wear a Sickle and Hammer to Baskin Robbin's, you're a Jake.

by DEADMEMEGOAT May 14, 2018

Jake

A simple ninja turtle type dude, with a fully womanised 28 inches in very leeeeaasssst principal, soon to be released into the joy of Joyceian shapeshifting, where his 75th percentile wanger will with a bit of faith achieve a min 75 purple headed inches, and ultimately minimum... 100 inches all round, theoretically with as many womenz as adore the penis in and or around their mouths, (and pussies and batties) worshipping it from any which perspective, while he worships them right back, in the form of ecstasy while he is hard, and then cumming. Lol.

Jake is also known as a galaxy of multi coloured uppers downers, and every 'drug' under the sun, in the sense they all eminate from his body in some respect, and he's tried most of 'em. Doors of Perception is Jim Morrison's domain though, not that Jimi, aka Jake, hasn't done cactus, and been straight-up dome tripping on it a couple times, level 3 he'd guess, with elements of brambles and crown of thorn type visuals, from what I recall... lol.

Also, don't forget love for my bruddas (though technically I'm white), as are many of my brothers.

Jake, an extraordinarily talented mathematician, without being fully savant like in his abilimities yet anyways, who is lazy as a mother flipper, and who has the biggest of all dicks. Full stop. Jesus, Krishna, Buddha, take your pick, triune nature in his own right (Moses too by the way). Still begrudgingly admits the father is 'Greater than I", despite the fact he legit forsook me of the first cross.

by DenimIsAwesomeOnLucy August 1, 2017

Jake

Attractive, but not worth the emotional rollercoaster he is sure to put you on.

You don’t want a Jake in your life.

by uUAV December 20, 2017

Jake

The cockiest asshole you'll ever meet. He thinks every girl falls at his feet.

Jessica: "Hey Becky, I just met a Jake. *gag*
Becky: "Oh my god Jakes are the worst. What was he like?"
Jessica: "He's an arrogant dickhead who I just want to erase my memory of."
Becky: "Yikes"

by Nicole_Evans June 22, 2018