The Turning Burger is a lesser known (yet undeniably effective) strategy for consuming burgers, sandwiches, and any other foods with the same basic property of multiple ingredients being loosely held together.
The leading heuristic for eating burgers in modern times involves approaching it from one side, and one side only. While this does grant the benefit of allowing one to "eat lazily", this crude and outdated procedure suffers from one major downfall.
Of course, this would be 'meat shift'. According to Urban Dictionary, 'meat shift' is defined as:
"a phenomenon that occurs when eating a hamburger or sandwich exclusively from one side so the meat and other ingredients shift, causing the last couple bites to have an unproportional mixture of ingredients"
Recently, a breakthrough was made and an algorithm, The Turning Burger, has been proved to be optimal for burger consumption. The strategy involves 'turning' the burger slightly after each and every bite. This causes the ingredients to constantly shift towards the center, setting up the optimal last bite, packed full of all the ingredients the burger or sandwich has to offer.
Notes:
- theta, the amount one must 'turn' the burger varies depending on the amount of force the individual applies with each bite as well as the slipperiness of the ingredients at hand
The leading heuristic for eating burgers in modern times involves approaching it from one side, and one side only. While this does grant the benefit of allowing one to "eat lazily", this crude and outdated procedure suffers from one major downfall.
Of course, this would be 'meat shift'. According to Urban Dictionary, 'meat shift' is defined as:
"a phenomenon that occurs when eating a hamburger or sandwich exclusively from one side so the meat and other ingredients shift, causing the last couple bites to have an unproportional mixture of ingredients"
Recently, a breakthrough was made and an algorithm, The Turning Burger, has been proved to be optimal for burger consumption. The strategy involves 'turning' the burger slightly after each and every bite. This causes the ingredients to constantly shift towards the center, setting up the optimal last bite, packed full of all the ingredients the burger or sandwich has to offer.
Notes:
- theta, the amount one must 'turn' the burger varies depending on the amount of force the individual applies with each bite as well as the slipperiness of the ingredients at hand
Person 1: Oh no! My last bite from this burger is all bread!
Person 2: You haven't heard of The Turning Burger? My last bite includes all the ingredients you've always dreamed of!
Person 1: =(
Person 2: You haven't heard of The Turning Burger? My last bite includes all the ingredients you've always dreamed of!
Person 1: =(
by ChickenChomper November 6, 2012
Get the The Turning Burger mug.A sexual act in which a pumpkin is hollowed out and placed upon a participant's head and then ejaculated into by bystanders
Hey girl you ever had a pumpkin burger?
Anyone up for pumpkin burger tonight?
She was still sticky from the pumpkin burger.
Anyone up for pumpkin burger tonight?
She was still sticky from the pumpkin burger.
by jarvisg September 30, 2013
Get the pumpkin burger mug.Last night I took this chick to my place, went to go down on her and noticed she had a flabby burger. If i wanted that shit I'd go to Mickey D's!!
by one dong November 12, 2011
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by WorseThanHitler November 12, 2020
Get the Burger King mug.A popular traditional dish from Bolivia consisting of a round patty of ground beef, or sometimes another savory ingredient, that is fried or grilled and typically served in a split bun or roll with various condiments and toppings with the most important ingredient and what makes the burger a merk burger is the Semen of a human of African descent. To prepare the merk burger's most important ingredient a man of above skin color 27 on the SLC24A5 Human Pigmentation Scale and or of direct African descent must Ejaculate semen onto the patty of the burger. After that, you have completed the delicious traditional Bolivian meal.
by tec9chapow November 29, 2020
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