The Turning Burger is a lesser known (yet undeniably effective) strategy for consuming burgers, sandwiches, and any other foods with the same basic property of multiple ingredients being loosely held together.
The leading heuristic for eating burgers in modern times involves approaching it from one side, and one side only. While this does grant the benefit of allowing one to "eat lazily", this crude and outdated procedure suffers from one major downfall.
Of course, this would be 'meat shift'. According to Urban Dictionary, 'meat shift' is defined as:
"a phenomenon that occurs when eating a hamburger or sandwich exclusively from one side so the meat and other ingredients shift, causing the last couple bites to have an unproportional mixture of ingredients"
Recently, a breakthrough was made and an algorithm, The Turning Burger, has been proved to be optimal for burger consumption. The strategy involves 'turning' the burger slightly after each and every bite. This causes the ingredients to constantly shift towards the center, setting up the optimal last bite, packed full of all the ingredients the burger or sandwich has to offer.
Notes:
- theta, the amount one must 'turn' the burger varies depending on the amount of force the individual applies with each bite as well as the slipperiness of the ingredients at hand
The leading heuristic for eating burgers in modern times involves approaching it from one side, and one side only. While this does grant the benefit of allowing one to "eat lazily", this crude and outdated procedure suffers from one major downfall.
Of course, this would be 'meat shift'. According to Urban Dictionary, 'meat shift' is defined as:
"a phenomenon that occurs when eating a hamburger or sandwich exclusively from one side so the meat and other ingredients shift, causing the last couple bites to have an unproportional mixture of ingredients"
Recently, a breakthrough was made and an algorithm, The Turning Burger, has been proved to be optimal for burger consumption. The strategy involves 'turning' the burger slightly after each and every bite. This causes the ingredients to constantly shift towards the center, setting up the optimal last bite, packed full of all the ingredients the burger or sandwich has to offer.
Notes:
- theta, the amount one must 'turn' the burger varies depending on the amount of force the individual applies with each bite as well as the slipperiness of the ingredients at hand
Person 1: Oh no! My last bite from this burger is all bread!
Person 2: You haven't heard of The Turning Burger? My last bite includes all the ingredients you've always dreamed of!
Person 1: =(
Person 2: You haven't heard of The Turning Burger? My last bite includes all the ingredients you've always dreamed of!
Person 1: =(
by ChickenChomper November 6, 2012
Get the The Turning Burgermug. A layer(s) of tissue composed of fat cells located in and around a person's back. Not to be confused with a hunchback, which is caused by abnormal curvature of the spine or muffin top, which is caused by tight pants.
by DROCKETT September 21, 2009
Get the burger backmug. by Chazza burger pits May 21, 2017
Get the burger pitsmug. by Uglyonesexy July 9, 2015
Get the Burger neckmug. Burger Langauge Examples
”This Yg all does is make fat jokes”
"You ahhh stupid bihh shii nigga”
ᴴᴼᵂ ᵀᴼ ᴿᴱᶜᴼᴳᴺᴵᶻᴱ ᴮᵁᴿᴳᴱᴿ ᴸᴬᴺᴳᵁᴬᴳᴱ
• This language basically makes you lose fucking brain cells.
• Using multiple of the same letter at the end of a word is common for this language also.
”This Yg all does is make fat jokes”
"You ahhh stupid bihh shii nigga”
ᴴᴼᵂ ᵀᴼ ᴿᴱᶜᴼᴳᴺᴵᶻᴱ ᴮᵁᴿᴳᴱᴿ ᴸᴬᴺᴳᵁᴬᴳᴱ
• This language basically makes you lose fucking brain cells.
• Using multiple of the same letter at the end of a word is common for this language also.
by 5TimeFinessa August 10, 2020
Get the Burger Langaugemug. A terrible special burger cooked by a special burger. It usually involves burning the burger by cooking it in tin foil with buffalo sauce.
by Thicccboy June 26, 2019
Get the Mike Burgermug.