Spunk-lard

Pre-coital lubricant of the anus made from the fatty deposits found in sperm. Method:
1) Collect ejaculated sperm whilst still warm
2) Bring to boil
3) Simmer whilst fatty deposits rise to top
4) Drain away liquid
5) Leave fatty residue to cool and congeal
6) Once congealed, sculpt into required shape (usually a cock-shape)
7) Apply to arsehole

Spunk-lard me up before butt-fucking me big boy!

by Lunatic Fringe September 4, 2008

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Spunk Drain

A person who specifically wants to be either covered in or filled with ejaculate.

"I hope that Spunk Drain doesn't get invited to the party, she'll be fucking and sucking all night."

by PJAD November 2, 2008

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Spunk catcher

A spunk catcher is the acted of catching mans load on your face from three or more feet.

Hey my best friend is a spunk catcher

by 1223493 September 15, 2015

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Spunk Protection

Lip gloss or any other animal tested product that females apply to their lips to make foreign subtsnaces easily removable.

"Hey baby can I blow all over your face?"
"Yeah if you want to. Just let me put on some Spunk protection first"

by swerve the bird April 8, 2008

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Smurf Spunk

A kosher alcoholic beverage consisting of 3 specific kosher liquors: STOLICHNAYA blueberry vodka, DEKYPUR Blue Curacao and SAUZA Blue Tequila. This "shot" is served in equal parts over ice, in a highball glass. It is garnished with a floating blue crayon. (It is acceptable, in small bars and homes only, with these tough economic times to chop up the crayon and put a few pieces in the drink.)

I was so hammered last night! Every frame I lost in bowling, I was forced to do a shot of Smurf Spunk! After about 7 of them I lost track, and somehow I thought it'd be funny if I stuck one of the crayons up my ass!

by AWESOMERJNM July 28, 2011

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