The largest lumberjack, this side of the Mississippi. He can wrestle 3 bears with one hand behind is back.
Hank hasn't spoken to his children in over 15 years. He doesn't pay child support.
Hank lives in a cabin in North Minnesota, where he lives with four squirrels. There were originally 5, but there was a fatality, during a thumb wrestling match. Rest In Peace, poor Billy.
Hank has a robust collection of flannel shirts. Used to model for Black and Decker.
Member of the Dean Koontz Family Tree.
Hank hasn't spoken to his children in over 15 years. He doesn't pay child support.
Hank lives in a cabin in North Minnesota, where he lives with four squirrels. There were originally 5, but there was a fatality, during a thumb wrestling match. Rest In Peace, poor Billy.
Hank has a robust collection of flannel shirts. Used to model for Black and Decker.
Member of the Dean Koontz Family Tree.
Squirrel 1: Hank Boontz, don't do it!
Hank: He shouldn't of disrespected me.
Squirrel 2: Hank, I don't think he knew that was your wife's closet.
Squirrel 5: I'm sorry! I won't do it again!
Hank: Challenge me to a thumb wrestling match for your life.
Splonald, from out of the corner: Did you guys remember to pick up cheese?
Squirrel 4: Yea, I got it.
Splonald: Thanks. *relinquishes back to the corner*
Squirrel 5: Tell your wife those acorns aren't for her. And those were the only nuts I was talking about busting in your wife's closet.
Hank after landing the final blow on Squirrel 5: Well shit, this is awkward.
Squirrel 3: THAT'S A LOT OF NUTS!
Hank: He shouldn't of disrespected me.
Squirrel 2: Hank, I don't think he knew that was your wife's closet.
Squirrel 5: I'm sorry! I won't do it again!
Hank: Challenge me to a thumb wrestling match for your life.
Splonald, from out of the corner: Did you guys remember to pick up cheese?
Squirrel 4: Yea, I got it.
Splonald: Thanks. *relinquishes back to the corner*
Squirrel 5: Tell your wife those acorns aren't for her. And those were the only nuts I was talking about busting in your wife's closet.
Hank after landing the final blow on Squirrel 5: Well shit, this is awkward.
Squirrel 3: THAT'S A LOT OF NUTS!
by Hank Boontz May 4, 2021
Get the Hank Boontzmug. 
by Definitely not hankydoodle August 18, 2023
Get the Hank Hopkinsmug. - a synonym for daddy; the embodiment of God. He has an infectious laugh and will laugh at anything when he is stoned. You should never leave any snacks, candy, desserts out overnight while with him, as all of it will disappear by tomorrow morning.
by fr33kilyn33kily November 22, 2021
Get the Hanksmug. To be scrutinized to the point of embarrassment. Usually by exposing critical flaws and weaknesses that prove the described entity unviable, usually by self-inflicted catastrophic failure.
That US womans national soccer team got hanked by the English sports commentators after their claims that they were invincible.
by Dimdamdum May 16, 2025
Get the Hankedmug. cool person, plays roblox with me, stays up till 7 am for me, ipad kid, pro at mm2, super cool, smelly and annoying
by miloo<33 October 17, 2021
Get the hank/bremug. by captainmozambique September 7, 2019
Get the Hankedmug.