Futuritis

The condition among twenty-somethings where the prospect of committing to anything (usually a relationship, though can also be a home purchase etc.. Grad school, btw, is a notable exception because it is itself often a way of avoiding the future.) causes a flare up in a passive-aggressive avoidance response, ultimately leading to a break-up/blow-up.

(Disclaimer: Futuritis technically means inflammation of the future. Deal with it, language Nazis.)

Ladyfriend Jane: I don't understand why John doesn't want me to move to Philadelphia.
Platonic Manfriend Pete: Jane, you're both 25 and you've been dating for three years. John's got futuritis; there's no way he wants you to move in with him, but he's never going to tell you that. Because he wants to give the business to some other skanks.
LFJ: John can suck my dick.
PMP: Indeed.

by larrychoiceman August 21, 2009

Future Cat

A (typically male) person that reads every future blog, technology blog, and probably every video game blog. A Future Cat truly believes that one day within the next 10-30 years man will answer to, or actually physically become robotic, as it is the next step in evolution. He believes people will be uploading their brain to a cloud (due to singularity, a concept made somewhat popular in the technology world by Vernor Vinge in 1993 ,and then reiterated by Ray Kurzweil in 2000) that will allow people to virtually live on, even after the Earth is uninhabitable.

Brandon: "Dude, stop working out, in 2025 we will be made out of nanobots. All we have to do is program our bodies to be fresh-to-death through the computer...and they will be."

Kyle: "Yeah, right! You're just a lazy future cat!"

by Jailhouse Nancy March 25, 2012

futur

A futur is a word to describe an insanely sexy woman that is good at video games.

Guy: "Fuck man, I need to get me one of them futur girls. They're the best of both worlds."

by prettyponylover August 10, 2017

Future

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jemimA “Our future is fucked, as is humanity!”

by I’m just telling the truth December 26, 2019

Futuresfuture

A big simp.

That guy over there (futuresfuture) is a big simp.

by Average-broccoli-enjoyer July 7, 2023

two weeks into the future

The near future.

Exactly how far into the future is ambiguous, but it generally refers to anywhere from five to fifty years. Far enough into the future to be noticeably different from the present, but not far enough to be unrecognizable from the present.

Can also be "twenty minutes into the future", "five minutes into the future", and so forth. In this context, "two weeks" (or "twenty minutes" or "five minutes") is exagerrated the same way "that is so five minutes ago" is an exaggerated way of saying something is days or weeks out of date, or "this is taking all day" is an exaggerated way of saying something is taking too long.

"I just read a really good science fiction novel. You should check it out if you're into that sort of thing."

"Is it really futuristic, like Star Wars? With flying cars and ships and laser guns and laser swords? That kind of stuff?"

"No, it's more of a 'two weeks into the future' sort of thing."

by Richard Phillips February 15, 2006

Future Fest

A colossal 10,000 person rave coming to the Travis County Expo Center in Austin Texas. It will have 4 separate arenas, all for a different type of electronic music. It takes place on June 27, 2009. Get your tickets!

Person 1: Future Fest is going to be the shit! I can't wait to see Evol Intent and Atb and Delta 9!

Person 2: I can't go.. I'm going on a family vacation..

Person 1: Thats lame, but theres another massive rave called Divas coming Labor Day weekend.

by Raving in Austin June 14, 2009