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The Way Of The Douche

A way of life. It's often learned through a grueling 2 hour escalator ride up a mountain to the sacred temple of the douche. Inside you will find a room filled with Vanilla Ice posters, and the legend himself, Vanilla Ice, slouched over chanting his famous *Meeeeeeeeeee* mantra whilst fixated on his own posters. He will gaze into your soul, and if he feels you are douchy enough, and can improve, he will teach you 'The Way Of The Douche'.

Pro Tips:

- Don't wear a baseball cap with the brim curved and authenticity stickers removed. Rookie mistake.
- Orange spray tan is a nice addition
- Tell Vanilla "Cool as Ice" is the best movie you've ever seen straight faced.
- Call him "ma boi" and "homeslice" and such. Oh and "O.D" (Original Douche), he loves that.

If Kanye is filling in for Vanilla, then re-adjust strategy for Kanye. Say things like "Yeah, Beyonce should've won", "$300?, I would pay $600 for one of your plain white tees!" and "your creative genius knows no limits".
"I heard Bieber is learning "The Way of the Douche""

"Yeah man. Second time up that escalator now."

"Whoa."
by Kittles48 September 19, 2018
mugGet the The Way Of The Douchemug.

Douche

1. A juicy scented liquid women use to clean their panamas after sex, after menstruation or in the shower to clean it up and/or remove an odor.

2. The word is of French origin, it means 'shower'.
3. In Quebecois French (French dialect spoken in Canada), it's a slang word for a sexy well-oiled muscle-bound sex machine of a man.

3. An arrogant boorish obnoxious asshole who thinks they can get anything they want. Ignorant, pushy and screachy to others. A sociopath. The term is usually applied to males but can also be applied to females too sometimes. Also 'DOUCHEBAG'.
4. Donald Trump.
1. At the end of the day, Aimee had PMS and she felt agitated. So in the shower that evening she pumped some douche to get that stink outta her. She felt better afterward.
2. The French whore showered, using a douche bottle before hitting the streets.

3. After winning a video game gambling ticket in a Quebec City hotel, I had to go to the bar to redeem it. I did so and had a drink. me and the bartender were watching CBC and there was Douchebag TraitorTrump blubbering his juvenile obnoxious shit, being an asshole. In our conversation, we learned the French Canadian and USA definitions of 'douche'. It was a humorous talk for both of us.
4. Donnie Douche has the appellation 'il Douche', a derivative of Benito Mussolini's title 'Il Duce' (the leader). Very fitting because Diaper Don is a bonafide FASCIST pig with a violent terroristic hateful personality cult and he talks, acts, thinks like a FASCIST. Every act he's done is a crime, he thinks about nobody but himself. He thinks the whole universe revolves around him, he's grossly immature and undiplomatic and ill-mannered to the max. He even calls himself the 'Chosen One', making him an ANTICHRIST. He assaults and rapes women, took his daughter as his wife, induces violence, etc. He is a total absolute DOUCHE(BAG). A Caligula. Oh yeah, he LOOOOVES to get his ass SPANKED by a ho too. SHIT!!!!
by I Saw U2 Live Twice April 12, 2022
mugGet the Douchemug.

milk douche

When you’re drinking milk, you laugh and then it comes out your nose.
by Stinky1995 October 24, 2017
mugGet the milk douchemug.

Butt Douche

Slang for “enema”. Prevalent in opioid circles.
“Yo Trey hook up that butt dousche. I’m 3 minutes away from wasting the last narcan if you don’t, and I ain’t trying to go out like Elvis either so stop fuckin around and let me get that butt douche bro”.
by That island guy August 8, 2024
mugGet the Butt Douchemug.

douche bag

everyone else listing the definition for douche bag and making absolutely no sense at all.
Man, all these people are total douche bags.
by steph110884 March 12, 2010
mugGet the douche bagmug.

Douche bag drive by

When the laziest most worthless person in the office walks with purpose and sighing around the office so everyone know they are there.
Did you see John do the douche bag drive by around the perimeter .
by pettyblue72 September 12, 2022
mugGet the Douche bag drive bymug.

douche

loser who claims fame but has never had it, claims tours of America that were in fact holidays paid for by wife and family, and tries to tell folks about said holidays at a child's funeral.
"Trying to tell me about your holiday at this kid's funeral? Man, are YOU a douche!"
by Hamadryad July 29, 2012
mugGet the douchemug.

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