Top-Rated Schlong

Term used to describe one who has mastered the sex.
It’s a shame you don’t want to date anymore because you were one of my top-rated schlongs.
by CulverCityToast December 10, 2018
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Alan David Schlong

1980s radio reporter who covered baseball for unhead station in New Jersey. Giant microphone reminiscent of horse's dick.
Oh, no, here comes Alan David Schlong with that giant microphone, what a schmutz.
by tirtle July 09, 2018
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When a sweet mild slides down your shaft with the precision of a well organized milf poking causing her velvet cavern to reorganize
Damn, that was a Sweet Mama Lama Schlong Song with a Gut reorganizer. She must have kids and loose morals
by Dr. Moosknuckle December 28, 2023
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Schlong Jump

When one male lies on the ground with an erect penis and another man tries to jump onto it so that the penis directly enters his sphincter.
Ryan laid on the ground and got his penis to an erect state. Justin then lined it up with precision and leaped backwards, landing straight on to Ryan's erect penis. They both celebrated with glee as they had completed a successful Schlong jump.
by Dezmuz May 27, 2016
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Schlong moment

When you use a word you think you know the definition to, but you actually don’t, however you use it anyway because it just sounds right. Later to find out it has the definition of something non-related.
Me: Wow, that guy has a rather large schlong! Friend: Are you talking about his nose? Me: Obviously! Friend: You mean, he has a large schnoz, right? That was a schlong moment!
by Tisdonym October 14, 2020
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Russian Schlong Whipping

When your uncle comes over from his weekly visit from Russia, you must bend over and pledge alliegence to his whip. Bend over and let him whip your ballsack until it rips open and your kidney beans fall out. Proceed to cut off the strings and cook them on a Bunsen burner and serve with a side of mayonnaise and brown mustard. Cut off our Weiner and put in a hot dog bun. Serve with the blood of your enemies. Sit naked on a spiked chair and watch him majestically eat them. Have Fun!
Can't wait until my uncle domes over from Russia and gives me the best Russian Schlong Whipping of my life!
by Shaedy September 20, 2018
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Russian Schlong Whipping

when your uncle comes over for his weekly visit from Russia, as soon as he enters the door, you must pull down your pants and pledge you allegiance to his whip. Proceed to let him whip your balls and until it splits open and your kidney beans fall out. Cook them on a Bunsen burner for him and serve to him with a side of mustard and mayo.
Can't wait until my uncle comes. He's gonna give me the best Russian schlong whipping of my life
by Shaedy September 20, 2018
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