we need to talk

Girl language for "I'm about to smash your heart to tiny pieces"
The best thing to do in this situation is cry. Crying shows sensitivity. Tell her you've never been happier with a woman and beg her not to break your heart. Most of the time, YOU are the victim. Be very careful though, it could be something small.
Annie: We need to talk.
Josh: What's wrong?
Annie: I might have feelings for someone else.
Josh: This really hurts. Please don't break my heart, I can't take it.
Annie: We're only taking a short break, I care about you and I don't want to hurt you.
Josh: *Choking up* You know I've never been happier with a woman. Please don't ruin this for me.
Annie: It's only a break, I just need time to figure out my feelings.
Josh: *Softly sobbing*
Annie: Please don't cry
Josh: I can't help it at this point, I'm so scared of having my heart broken again
Annie, a few days later: I love you. Let's be together
by MusicalDeity August 18, 2010
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You need Jesus!

For when someone is deciding to be a dumb person.
Charlotte: haiuhlssisghj
Shirley: wth?
Charlotte: suygkhjdipdugvciuyhifgvcgiufgh
Shirley: Charlotte, I-
Charlotte: SIYXLKUHIUHKGUODHGJVIUHDB DHODHJVHUODHJVHDUHVDHU
Shirley and Alpen: YOU NEED JESUS!
Charlotte: wha?
Shirley: *SLAPS THE FUCKING BIBLE AGAINST CHARLOTTE'S FACE*
by *cough* hello July 03, 2019
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The official reason the chicken crossed the road.
After years of intense psychotherapy, the road's psychoanalyst penned his conclusive diagnosis "the chicken unknowingly committed a grave error, transitting from its permitted location to an unsanctioned area, pathologically and permanently violating the delicate psyche of the highly sensitized patient, because it was perceived as an inconsiderate act and extremely inattentive to the Road's needs. Alas, the patient is destined to be similarly crossed by many, if not most, of those it may expect to encounter in the future."
by texlex61 January 30, 2009
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we need to talk

your screwed and fucked up its over...i cant believe you fucked my mom...
jennie told steve she couldnt believe hed fucked her mom AGAIN so she told him they needed to talk
by dipshit September 27, 2003
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i need a hug

The party is in 10 mins and I still have no food on the table, i need a hug.
by Urban3158930045 December 06, 2013
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you need help

The voices in your head are going to get you into a lot of trouble
You would be doing yourself great favor if you seriously sought help
I am not kidding or being nasty. I am being truthful and honest
How can you continue living like this?
Your quality of life is close to zero
You once told me something. That sometimes happiness is pain. I am not sure if you remember that but i do. But I just didn't realize how twisted your mind is

I didn't realise you actually meant what you said
I didn't realize you meant that not only do you gain pleasure out of your own unhappiness but you are infinitely more happy when you inflict pain on others.

that is not normal. Instead of allowing yourself to destroy elements remaining of you whilst slandering everyone around you, why don't you just seek help instead of accommodating your ill mental health. And not only that but lying and projecting your own mental insanity on others so you can deny and hide your rueful secret to protect your identity ans self image?

You're sick individual. And that one day when we sat I class giving an overview of our thesis, I wanted nothing to do but to punch your face for all your lies and falsehoods. I wanted to do nothing more than to reveal to everyone the person you really are.
but then I held back because I realised, thats not my job - thats God's job
You need help. Get help. You're delusional and should NOT be a psychologist

- the flautist
by love_maiden July 28, 2014
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we need to talk

What a person says when he has something to discuss.
Boy: We need to talk.
Girl: ...
Boy: We need a new shower head.
by sukebe September 19, 2004
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