douchebag herpes

Douchebag Herpes is a highly contagious disease in which the affected persons act like complete douchebags toward all other forms of life. Like the well known herpes virus, the symptoms often lay dormant for long periods of time before surfacing. Douchebag Herpes is most common in attractive teenage boys when perfectly nice girls are drawn in by their charm. Sometimes manifests in the form of discrete lying, but most commonly by the said infected person completely ignoring said perfectly nice girl without a just cause.

Those infected with Douchebag Herpes can easily cure themselves by admitting their wrongdoing and apologizing, although the condition often doesn't allow this to take place because the infected person's head is usually way to far up his ass to see what he's done wrong.

Dude, you have douchebag herpes? you shoulda told me. we could've worked through it together. but stay away from me now, man. I don't wanna catch it.

by shingaling17 May 27, 2009

to be douchebagged

When you meet someone and at first think they're cool, but later learn (generally after having slept with them) that they are, in fact, a douchebag.

If you go to that bar alone in that dress, expect to be douchebagged.

Because we had some mutual friends, I thought he was a safe bet and went home with him, but when he didn't call after a week, I realized I'd been douchebagged.

by gurgoob January 10, 2012

Douchebadgery

n., the sense of entitlement displayed by hordes of blowhard tourists sporting badges (vs. just wristbands or single event tickets) during the South by Southwest music/film/interactive festival (SXSW) in Austin, TX each March.

(says a local): "I have no intention of going downtown tonight and subjecting myself to all that douchebadgery."

by Debmocracy March 12, 2010

Douchefaggery

The actions or qualities that makes one a douchefag

I tired of your constant douchefaggery!

by Pistolpete9 January 21, 2009

Douchebaggetry

Noun. The state of being a douchebag, characterized by pretentiousness, overinflated self-worth (egotism) and low intelligence. Pejoratively (negatively) used.

I hear you. His douchebaggetry knows no bounds.

by DAHL January 5, 2011

Douchebaggary

1) Actively engaging in highly-unacceptable, douche-like behavior.

2) Being a douche or douchebag in practice.

To commit so many loathsome acts at once, Jim's behavior could best be characterized as douchebaggary.

His behavior was beyond unacceptable! It was pure douchbaggary.

by Dr. T. December 11, 2012

douchebaggery in the 3rd degree

This is the highest, and most egregious, of degrees in which a person can commit douchebaggery. Different from douchebaggery in the 1st and 2nd degrees, all innocence has gone out the window with this one. It is the most blatant act of which a person can perform. Typically, one who commits such an act has ridden the slippery slope of douchebaggery all the way to the bottom, and now they rest themselves in the staunchest pool of disdain by their peers. Selfishness, greed, talking loudly in libraries, and snaggled teeth are the trademarks of the 3rd-degree douche. Penalties in this case are most severe, and may include any (or all) of the following:
-2 swift kicks in the giblets; once for being dumb, and once for being ugly
-Pepper spray
-Upper decking
-A rancid fart on the pillow, resulting in;
-Pinkeye

Note: Generally, in cases of 3rd degree douchebaggery, the Court of Public Opinion is actually the one who brings the douche up on charges, not any one individual. For this reason, an accusation in this degree alone is enough evidence for a conviction. DO NOT associate with these offenders, lest ye be accused of douchebaggery in the 2nd degree at a minimum! (This is because you should know better by now that this person is a total doucher!!!!!)

*No adequate, all-encompassing, example currently exists for douchebaggery in the 3rd degree. By now, you'll know who they are.

by Sir Scoofsalot February 9, 2015