douchebaggery

to carry out n such a manner that is generally offensive, lude, rude, and/or of a prick

a man wakes up to the noise of his crying infant, waits to see if it will stop. finally awakens to walk right past the infants room to go smoke a ciggarette fist, then tend to infants needs.....his actions are classic douchebaggery

by loo hoo May 13, 2011

douchebag chords

Chords douchebag usually learn and stick to with the guitar, for the purpose of sounding cool at parties. You can easily spot a douchebag using douchebag chords at any event, since he's a poorly educated wannabe musician, hardly scoring with any of the poor-looking half-baked floozies, while the cool full-on stoned attendants are properly getting infuriated by the amount of G, C, A, E and D chords (with no variations) played randomly while accompanying cheesy, ill-written lyrics.

Stephen : Hey man, take a look at the freakin' prick in the bedroom.
Brian : Oh man, you talkin' about the guy with the dirty goatee and the cheap guitar ? I thought I could hear douchebag chords being played !
Stephen : You damn right, and look at the crowd around the bed, what a bunch of losers.
Brian : Hey man you got that weed ? Gotta numb my brain from this excruciating sonic bullshit.
Stephen : Sit right back in that couch mister, you gonna be taken care of. Just fire up the volcano, everything's gonna be alright.
Brian : You rock, I love you.
Stephen : I love you too, bromosexual.

by Klisstoriss April 17, 2012

douchebaggery in the 2nd degree

This is the 2nd of the orders of magnitude of douchebaggery in which a person can commit. It is very similar to douchebaggery in the 1st degree; however, this accusation comes with a noticeable difference. In this degree, the accused has now become a repeat offender. The person, from here on referred to as the douche, has been charged and found guilty of 1st-degree douchebaggery by the Court of Public Opinion. Penalties for a guilty conviction on this charge are increasingly stiff, and may include:
-Immediate unfriending on facebook, snapchat, etc.
-A swift kick in the giblets
-Public mockery/ open shame

Shrek: "Hey man, remember how I had rescheduled that kayaking trip with my buddies so Jeff could make it since he bailed the last time?"
Scuff: "Of course."
Shrek: "Well, that douche bailed on me again this weekend!"
Scuff: "Word? What was his excuse this time?"
Shrek: "He said he got busy with stuff-n-things."
Scuff: "Dude, that's a load of garbage! He's my friend and all, but this sounds like a definite case of douchebaggery in the 2nd degree!"
Shrek: "I concur, Scuff. Maybe we need to get him checked into some kinda rehab before this gets worse. Anyway, how findeth the Court of Public Opinion, Jeff, on the charge of douchebaggery in the 2nd degree?"
Bystanders: "GUILTY!!!"
Shrek: "Motion carries. Unfriending on social media to be completed by midnight tonight."

Note: The sentencing for this conviction is much more severe due to the enhanced likelihood that Jeff will become an even bigger douchebag in the near future. If unattended, it is likely that he will soon commit a crime of douchebaggery in the 3rd degree; a black hole from which no friendship escapes.
Special Note: It is very rare that the Court of Public Opinion ever finds anyone innocent of a charge that is brought before them. They are a vengeful lot.

by Sir Scoofsalot February 9, 2015

douchebag homo

A uncaring, detached, and unconcerned person. Refer to them as a douchebag homo. Doesn't matter if it is a dude or a chick.

Look at that individual over there, that my friend is considered a douchebag homo.

by Careless joker July 14, 2016

Expired Douchebag

Noun: a douchabag that is so old and douchey that it isn't even fit to douche with.

KJ: " I unfriended Branham on Facebook. He said some shit that totally pissed me off!"

Angela: " Good! That old fugger is nothing but an expired douchebag, anyway."

by MadMorsel August 19, 2013

Doublemint Douchebag

A guy who is such a shameless yet stealthy and unsuspecting player that he will try to sweet talk you to try to get to fuck you.... and do the same with your sister, who looks just ike you, at the same time.

Sister 1: "Hey, guess who has been texting me telling me I am so beautiful, I am the "one"and he would treat me so good and he wants to take me out?
Sister 2: "WHO?"
Sister 1: "Danny, that really sweet but kinda fat guy from down the street."
Sister 2: "No way? Really, what did he say....because he has been texting me and sweet talking me all summer and I thought he really meant it....I mean look at him, he's nice but kinda fat, right??"

Sister 1: "What a doublemint douchebag! He has been playing us both and trying to get at least one sister to sleep with him. WTF??"

by Jojobean42 October 11, 2015

friendly douchebag

A dude who takes part in typical douchebag activities, but still maintains a decent enough personality to give a slight fuck about someone else's feelings.

"Those bros looked like total douchebags, but when they said 'good morning' I realized they were friendly douchebags."

by d_bag24 May 26, 2018