ABC Defense

(noun)
A linguistic defense mechanism named after the 1992 crime thriller, Glengarry Glen Ross, referencing the sales method, "Always Be Closing." ABC Defense drafts a covert contract between the speaker and the listener to "be nice."
A. Affectation of Anxiety. Appear socially inept or weak to encourage others' sympathy.
B. Be Gentle. Tone police people who sound "too loud" or "too angry."
C. Covert Contract of Expectation. Assume, out loud, that the other person won't be "cruel."

In the 1965 film "Three Approaches to Psychotherapy," Gloria uses the ABC Defense when she says, "A) Right now I'm nervous but B) I feel more comfortable the way you're talking in a low voice and C) I don't feel like you'll be so harsh on me."

by saintsundere October 13, 2024

Defense

To murder indiscriminately, especially in cases where rich people hide a lot of murdering behind opaque political procedures

The Ministry of Defense just ordered 200 more Nelson Type 2 Missile Activated Hospital Implosionary Warheads to enact tactical defense maneuvers overseas. Our tax dollars at work!

by peacenik patty December 31, 2023

The Glenn Beck Defense

A synonym for JAQing Off, this phrase was named after right wing commentator Glenn Beck, who became famous for spewing conspiracy theories and hate fueled rhetoric under the guise of asking questions. His usage of this defense became so notorious that South Park famously mocked him for it.

"I'm not saying that they were good people, I'm just asking if the Jan 6 rioters were really Republicans or if they were Democrats in disguise?"
"Quit pulling The Glenn Beck Defense moron!"

by Lynch/Fellini May 30, 2023

Defensive Boner

The tightening of the urethral sphincter to prevent the flow of urine. Increased blood flow to the penis constricts the urethra so you don't piss yourself in your sleep.

Sarge: "Holster that weapon private!"

Pvt P.P: "It's a defensive boner sir! I really have to pee!"

by IamRob April 19, 2018

Self Defense

for most it’s protecting your self from harm but for laylas it is doing it with someone at karate

“he chokes me so i laughed uwu” that is apparently the definition of self defense now

by defnotsomeonewhoknowslayla August 9, 2022

Off-Puck Defense

When the opponent uses the CPU players to play defense on 1 on 1's and 2 on 2's. This allows the defencemen to keep a proper gap, because the actual opponent cannot.

"Dude my uncle was playing Off-Puck Defense. What a bitch."

by dpass19 April 7, 2020

Wisconsin self defense

Needless escalation of a tense situation followed by victim-playing on the part of the person who escalated the situation when their escalation turns against them.

I treated my cat's injury after he Wisconsin self defense'd a squirrel. He never learns

by Racoon Skittles November 22, 2021