Butt Coffee

When you take a shit and it comes out almost entirely liquid except for sharp parts that have a texture similar to coffee grounds.

Marge: Homer, you look terrible! What happened?
Homer: I had butt coffee.
Marge: Eww...

by KalloFox34 May 10, 2019

Coffee Vulture

A person who knows the sound of a coffee maker quite well, though never brews a pot. As soon as a coffee vulture hears the sweet sound of morning ecstasy brewing they immediately drop whatever unimportant task is being poorly done to find the source. Once located, a coffee vulture will then spectate, possibly drooling down its shirt. Whilst waiting awkwardly in a doorway or some other location that obstructs the flow of traffic, a vulture never lets its beady eyes leave the objective. Silently waiting either because watching is as much as its little brain can handle or because it has been labeled a fucking idiot and no one fucking gives a shit what this piece of shit has to say anyways. Upon the coffee maker's completion of its task the vulture waddles over and pours a cup before anyone else. The vulture is first not due to speed, but rather the overall repugnant nature of such a 'person', once the vulture's destination is known that area is then vacated and avoided until it has left. Upon filling its cup the vulture then returns to whatever meaningless task it was doing, periodically returning for more coffee until dry. After which this piece of shit might say, "Looks like we're out of coffee." in hopes that someone more useful than they may make another pot it can wait on.

"Is the coffee done yet?"
"No, the coffee vulture is still in there."
"Damn, I guess I'll just wait."

by Sexy Al Capone August 19, 2014

Coffee Pinch

The need to defecate after drinking a cup of coffee.

I just drank a venti Starbucks. Imma bout to take a coffee pinch.

by Eaton Holgoode January 30, 2018

Coffee crack

A white person that owns a coffee beanery, where coffee is brewed. Americans or people who love drinking coffee, a person who drinks way too much coffee. Americans who love coffee or Starbucks.

I love coffee, I'm a coffee crack. I drink it every day.

Uncle Craig owns a coffee beanery, yup he's a coffee beaner, just kidding.

Americans can't get enough coffee, I guess we're a coffee beaner nation.

Stop drinking so much coffee you coffee beaner.

by Equal crack October 2, 2016

coffee worshipper

A person who buys a takeaway coffee from places like Starbucks, Costa, Cafe Nero, etc and walks along the road holding it in front of them as if it's an urn containing sacred ashes.

That coffee worshipper over there looks like a complete twat

by blofled1965 March 19, 2013

forgotten coffee

When one is so busy and forgot to take the coffee from the coffee (espresso) machine.

"Hey dude, is that your coffee?"
"Oh, yes, thanks. It's my forgotten coffee."

by Gaboantsa October 31, 2022

Coffee Huffer

Someone that refuses to drink coffee but annoyingly insists the love the smell.

Barista: Hi welcome! May I take your order?

Customer: Oh I don’t drink coffee! I just come for the smell, it’s wonderful!

Barista: Get out of here you Coffee Huffer swine!

by Tatrsos aka dank meme lord May 18, 2018