Stump Monkey

A pussy that has no moisture whatsoever, making entrance of a ding dong virtually impossible. The procedure of trying to enter such a womb gives the dong owner the sensation equivalent to trying to fuck a tree stump.

Marsha finally gave me the consent to wax that ass last night, and I'll be damned if she didn't have stump monkey. I never got the head in.

by hoss May 21, 2003

mushroom headed piss stump

Another term for a penis

She hogged down on my mushroom headed piss stump.

by Ben daiho May 25, 2008

stump fucking

Having any form of sex with an amputee. This can involve, but is not limited to:
Vaginal-penile intercourse with a woman no legs.
Inserting your handless stump into some ho's cooch.
Two multiple amputees atempting to have sex (otherwise known as log-rolling)

Yo guys, what would be worse, stump fucking a bitch with no arms, or no legs?

by zeppelinboy September 21, 2005

Stumpfucker

A jackass army of none (Justanotherserviceman) who posts typical hillbilly heehaw hot air on Hategun.com.

An inbred hillscoggin' Harley drivin' store-bought patriotic southern good-ole-moron....

That stumpfucker has a confederate flag on his Ford F-150.....

Stumpfuckers love to marry their sisters...

by alex parkman February 8, 2005

stumpf

A half-wood. Not quite a hard-on, but not quite soft. A stumpf!

I had a boner for some Romanian girl Oana in college, but I found out she was a lesbian and I only ended up with a stumpf..

by ::analogue:: September 8, 2004

stump jumper

An overly promiscuous or in some other way, sexually indiscrimenant man. (comes from the old saying 'he don't care he'd f_@& that stump if he knew there were no bees in it)

That stump jumper is so horny he'd fu___ a pile a rocks as long as he knew there wasn't a snake in it

by MikeeJay63 February 16, 2010

patrick stump

Patrick Stump (the leprechaun) is the lead singer from Fall Out Boy with Pete Wentz (werewolf/vampire mix), Andy Hurley (fairy princess), and Joe Trohman (giant from the beanstalk). He's not the best singer in the world but I still get orgasms from listening to him. Pete Wentz looks like a werewolf and who would you rather have sex with, a werewolf or a leprechaun? Some people might say he's fat, but he's normal...just normal. and when I become famiss we will have sex all the time.

Patrick: I am self conscious for some gay reason.
Me: Patrick, let's go make passionate love all night long.
Pete Wentz: Patrick, dude let me put chocolate all over your body then lick it off like I lick my guitar.
Me: Back off you werewolf, he's mine!

Patrick Stump is cute, so cute in fact that I spend every waking moment having sick sexual fantasies about him and Pete Wentz making out. Yeah baby.

by LeprechaunLover December 14, 2008