Coffee talk

Things not important enough for a biography, yet too important for text.

Let’s save that for coffee talk

by Realcoffeetalk June 24, 2018

Butt Coffee

When you take a shit and it comes out almost entirely liquid except for sharp parts that have a texture similar to coffee grounds.

Marge: Homer, you look terrible! What happened?
Homer: I had butt coffee.
Marge: Eww...

by KalloFox34 May 10, 2019

homeless coffee

When you urinate on your feces making a pungent warm liquid, usually filtered through sweaty undergarments.

I could really go for some more of Bob's homeless coffee on this fine Christmas morning.

by Rod Pretzel December 20, 2016

Coffee Vulture

A person who knows the sound of a coffee maker quite well, though never brews a pot. As soon as a coffee vulture hears the sweet sound of morning ecstasy brewing they immediately drop whatever unimportant task is being poorly done to find the source. Once located, a coffee vulture will then spectate, possibly drooling down its shirt. Whilst waiting awkwardly in a doorway or some other location that obstructs the flow of traffic, a vulture never lets its beady eyes leave the objective. Silently waiting either because watching is as much as its little brain can handle or because it has been labeled a fucking idiot and no one fucking gives a shit what this piece of shit has to say anyways. Upon the coffee maker's completion of its task the vulture waddles over and pours a cup before anyone else. The vulture is first not due to speed, but rather the overall repugnant nature of such a 'person', once the vulture's destination is known that area is then vacated and avoided until it has left. Upon filling its cup the vulture then returns to whatever meaningless task it was doing, periodically returning for more coffee until dry. After which this piece of shit might say, "Looks like we're out of coffee." in hopes that someone more useful than they may make another pot it can wait on.

"Is the coffee done yet?"
"No, the coffee vulture is still in there."
"Damn, I guess I'll just wait."

by Sexy Al Capone August 19, 2014

coffee dreads

a state of being which is quite unpleasant; when one drinks too much coffee, and as a result feels very anxious

Jay: Hey Lu what do?
Lucy: Hey. I can't tell if I'm nervous about something or if I just drank too much coffee.
Jay: Ah, the coffee dreads. Brutal.

by violentviolet October 10, 2013

forgotten coffee

When one is so busy and forgot to take the coffee from the coffee (espresso) machine.

"Hey dude, is that your coffee?"
"Oh, yes, thanks. It's my forgotten coffee."

by Gaboantsa October 31, 2022

Coffee Filtration

When one sucks off another, then as male is about to ejaculate, he states his predicament to the partner who promptly places a thin layer of material, i.e undergarments, over the penis. At this point, said sucker places mouth around partners penis. The penis holder then spurts his 'sex wee' through material. Sucker then sucks semen through material causing filtration. Pleasure ensues.

1. " .... Amy totally gave coffee filtration to me last night!"

by That camel April 5, 2009