Church Coffee

Horrible coffee made exclusively by churches. It is always way too weak and tastes odd. They just can't get it right!

guy 1: Hey, how's the coffee?
guy 2: Horrible, it tastes like Church Coffee.
guy 1: Gross. Lets get a Monster instead.

by palindrome216 July 06, 2011

The Church of Piss

The church in which those who sit around it are mesmerized and are turned in to a transcended form. It is stated that those who come to the church every Tuesday instead of eating tacos are rewarded with a cup of piss in there hand within a chalice. Those who receive it may drink from the chalice and they may see a blessed video of the legend himself known as sodahead 13.

"What are you doing today?"
"I'm going to the church and try and get some piss."
"Oh, the Church of Piss!"

by haha pee pee uh oh stinky poo October 01, 2019

Church Bell

When you take a shit that is so long that as it falls from your ass, it leans forward and bumps into the back side of your balls like clanging a bell.

"I should have pinched that deuce off sooner and it wouldn't have gone church bell on me."

by jackwagon99 January 28, 2018

The Church of Mr.Clean

A want-to-be religion worshipping Mr.Clean. Seems like a cult and probably is. You are allowed to worship other gods, but Mr.Clean mostly. And it seems as if The Church of Mr.Clean hates Donald J. Trump.

Person 1: I wish there was a religion where I could worship Mr.Clean
Person 2: There actually is! It's called the Church of Mr.Clean!

by Mr.Clean❤️ November 12, 2020

church merch

Free swag you get from your church on Sunday.

Hey Lucy, check out the free St. John’s coffee mugs. That’s some sweet church merch!

by Slump Daddy October 17, 2018

Church friend

Friends people claim to be from church but are actually from something more suspicious. Such as an orgy, sex cult, or dog fighting ring.

I was hanging out with my "church friends" yesterday. I felt things I haven't in a long while ;)

by Gamer34 April 17, 2022

church hop

When a child molesting priest just goes to another church instead of getting punished

James: "My old pastor got caught for molesting some kid and went to New York"
Kyle: "Ah, the ol' church hop"

by TheOlMikeWazoski January 12, 2018