Church friend

Friends people claim to be from church but are actually from something more suspicious. Such as an orgy, sex cult, or dog fighting ring.

I was hanging out with my "church friends" yesterday. I felt things I haven't in a long while ;)

by Gamer34 April 17, 2022

Church steepling

Like an Eiffel Tower but instead you hold hands and sing kumbaya.

“Yo dude, we were church steepling this girl the other night and we matched pitches during kumbaya”

by Phtbtmgrlz October 22, 2019

Church History

A soul-sucking and pointless course you are forced to take your junior year at Mount de Sales. Taught by an insane Filipino lady, it is designed to make your brain implode before the final exam. Everyone sleeps in the class and no one learns a single thing because the teacher just goes off on monologues for an hour and a half and no one can understand her accent. Then comes the final exam and you're expected to know everything that happened from Jesus' crucifixion to the Diet of Worms. Whatever the fuck that is.

Mom: So what'd you learn in church history today?

Me: Oh, I learned about all the different heresies, protestantism, etc. We've also had about 54385798327549 bad popes.

Sue: Church history is the biggest waste of life.

Me: I do my precalc homework in that class.

Me: So... this Church history exam....

Ellen: Fuck that shit.

by screaminghallelujah6 December 12, 2011

Church Niggah

A person who claims to be or is on the righteous path of life. No longer cool enough to hang with old friends. Makes bullshit excuses when asked to hang out but really cant go out cuz they're bound by a significant other.

Person 1: yo you hung out with john recently?
Person 2: nah man he turned into a straight church niggah.

by L8terH8er October 8, 2016

church hop

When a child molesting priest just goes to another church instead of getting punished

James: "My old pastor got caught for molesting some kid and went to New York"
Kyle: "Ah, the ol' church hop"

by TheOlMikeWazoski January 11, 2018

the church of goomy

A religious cult based around the fictional creature, Goomy from the "Pokemon" series of games.

The Holy Gooble Sliggo Goomy Goodra Pokemon The Church of Goomy

by RoboPup November 12, 2013

church merch

Free swag you get from your church on Sunday.

Hey Lucy, check out the free St. John’s coffee mugs. That’s some sweet church merch!

by Slump Daddy October 17, 2018