i would rather shit in my own jocks and wear them as a hat

to put it in layman's terms, you make me so sick i would rather defecate at the expense of my own undergarments instead of being in your presence.

your so shit that i would rather shit in my own jocks and wear them as a hat than know you!

by discombobulator! November 21, 2010

shit, shave, shag and shampoo

the daily morning routine of a working single man, also know as the 4S

guy 1: are you up yet, what time are we meeting?
guy 2: dude, just woke up... need time to shit, shave, shag and shampoo!
guy 1: oh shoot, well hurry up will you, i aint gonna wait for you all day!
-----
john: today is the longest i ever took to do my 4S!

by rantingsteve May 10, 2011

Wish in one hand, shit in the other, and see which hand the German guy eats out of.

A reply given to someone who wishes for something because a part of their life is unfair, basically stating that life is full of good and bad things. In essence, wishes mean nothing.

This is the earliest version of the saying, with the reference to Germans eating shit coming from American soldiers in WWII.

You know what they say Ted: Wish in one hand, shit in the other, and see which hand the German guy eats out of.

by Bill Tetley June 19, 2011

Shit In My Hands and Clap

A way of objectifying to or expressing utter dislike for something.

I'd rather shit in my hands and clap than vote for Donald Trump.

by RossF92 August 19, 2016

shit thread lock and b&

The appropriate response to a forum/message board topic thread that is of no use to anything. It consists of no content worthy of reading, teal deers, and self pictures that make you want to throw acid in your eyes. Also, in general the OP is a giant faggot.

OP: "Hey guiz, post what Urban Dictionary Says about your name! Come on, it will be fun!"
Response: "Shit thread lock and b&"

by David D Davidson Jr. July 15, 2010

you aint shit without boats and hoes

It means you lonely

MAN YOU AINT SHIT WITHOUT BOATS AND HOES

by you know damn well who you are May 26, 2018

Don't feed me shit, and tell me it's sugar

A response to a purposely misleading statement or a bold face lie.

Obama: Universal health care will save us money.
Senator: Don't feed me shit, and tell me it's sugar.

by country_boy August 18, 2009