Ollies Law

To go to toilet and have a poo but to this your completely naked.

Dave used Ollies Law when visiting the in laws barhroom

by scrappymatt October 16, 2025

Co-Parent-In-Law Zoned

The ninth circle of friend-zoned, your friend is so not into you and yet has so much respect for you that they want their kids to marry yours. I doubt that there is any way out of this zone.

Person 1: my crush just told me that when she has kids she wants them to marry mine, what does that even mean??

Person 2: bro you've totally been Co-Parent-In-Law Zoned, you might as well just move on

by anonymous December 2, 2021

Shar-yee-haw Law

A set oppressive laws placed upon citizens due to the bigotry and close-mindedness of organized religion. But in Texas.

"Our country is being taken over by Muslims! Its going to be under Sharia Law!"
"OK, but look at Texas. It's already under Shar-yee-haw Law with its evangelical Christian population making laws controlling other people's bodies".

by Gabagools June 2, 2022

Roon’s law

The person who names a thing is often more powerful than the original discoverer

"You hear about Roon’s law?”

"Yah man but funny thing. It was made by this guy called Andrew Reed"

by Martian bot December 26, 2021

Athlete's Law

A picture taken during play will always look bad no matter what

"Man I look like shit in all my basketball photos"
"Must be Athlete's Law man"

by SJWSlayer July 27, 2021

towel law

The unspoken rule that towels' rights are less than any other person's, excluding towels themselves. Towels are not allowed to:
1. Read
2. Write
3. Vote
4. Drive
5. Leave their designated area
6. Dry anything their masters say not to
7. Disobey a master's orders
8. Smoke, drink, or have other substance-related activity
Towels are subhuman filth.

Thanks to Towel Law, the towel was punished sternly by the whip for attempting to write a book about how to drive, against Amy Schumer's vagina's wishes. It was quickly rolled into a makeshift dildo-tampon and shoved back in. Amy Schumer stopped menstruating a long time ago, so don't worry. It's just super sweaty and gross.

by Niger Tits October 9, 2017

Jake Piper's fourth law

The last of his laws, it states:
There can only be three laws.

The law is a certified law.

Connor: "Hey man, I used Jake Piper's fifth law here and-"
Daniel: "Come on man, use Jake Piper's fourth law. There's no fifth law"

by unitybacon October 13, 2020