Chocolate box review

A review for service that's really advertising copy, paid for by the provider in time, money or extras. Usually slick and well written (like the descriptions of the contents of boxes of chocolate). Never mentions anything negative or the actual details of the service, like the price paid (if any) or the true relationship between reviewer and provider (may even be the same person).

Bill: Wow, sweet review of Sienna by TimTam.
Ted: Fool! It's a chocolate box review.

Nell: Love that review of you by SuckerBoy
Crystal: I know. I wrote it myself!
Nell: ? A chocolate box review?
Crystal: Yeah, baby. They so stupid.

by Anonymous Bosch II September 21, 2018

bed chocolate

Residual excretion in, on, or around one's mattress, which is later mistaken for crumbs of chocolate.

Willard: Bernadine shat on my dick last Thursday evening while we were sleeping.
Hobo 1: Well, that's unfortunate...
Willard : The worst part is that I thought the bed chocolate is was a piece of the candy bar that I was eating yesterday afternoon for elevenses.

Hobo 2: STANKY!

by killbo December 15, 2011

death by chocolate starfish

n. A truly revolting, nauseous guff. Capable of really making squeamish people shout soup!

Ugh, that's fucking disgusting. Its like death by chocolate starfish.

by nuttershamrockshinboner July 10, 2023

Dark chocolate mamba

Tie you limp dick around their throat, Flex, Easy dub, quick decapitation

Bro Elijah just dark chocolate mamba’d Logan smh

by You moms meth dealer Markell December 20, 2019

Chocolate coated candy bracelet

When you put a candy bracelet in your mates anus after they diarrhea and eat it while blowing their back out.

Step mom: Want a Chocolate coated candy bracelet?

by Hongie Dongie June 16, 2021

Eat chocolate all day

You can eat chocolate all day on the 29th of october

You eat chocolate all day week

by Kiana made it ee October 20, 2020

Chocolate Coffee

Akin to piss in taste. If you have every watched Bear Grills guzzle his on piss, you can now imagine how chocolate coffee tastes.

Friend: “Oh God, that man on TV is chugging piss from snake skin!”
You: “Still better than Chocolate Coffee”

by Number1 piss lover November 5, 2021