An overrated teen sensation, released in 2005. Written by the inexperienced Stephenie Meyer, the badly presented, two-dimensional characters include the most famous Edward Cullen, who is the most perfect being ever to walk the planet. Meyer describes these sparkly things as 'vampires', though they are more accurately referred to as 'meyerpires' or 'steroided cannibals'.
by Anne Mouse February 25, 2009
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Get the Twilight mug.A "book" written by Stephanie Meyer.
It's basically about a girl, Bella Swan, who moves to Forks, Washington. There she falls in love with the "perfect" guy, Edward Cullen. Edward turns out to be a "vampire". Even though he thirsts for her blood, he loves her. Bella has a nasty habit of randomly falling over.
Apparently Meyer didn't know crap before she wrote Twilight, because in her imaginary world vampires sparkle when the sun hits their skin.
Even though Edward is dead, and has no blood pumping through his body, he can mysteriously have sex with Bella. He later gets her pregnant.
For some reason, he can feel emotion and love Bella, even though vampires have no soul. Edward doesn't have fangs, and drinks the blood of animals because he doesn't like killing people(Where have we seen that before... maybe Interview with a vampire?).
The only reason girls like Twilight is because they feel Bella is special. They feel Bella is special because they think they can relate to her. They think they can relate to her because Bella is depressed because her life is hard. Then Prince Charming (Edward) comes and rescues her, so they feel their Prince Charming will come and rescue them.
It's basically about a girl, Bella Swan, who moves to Forks, Washington. There she falls in love with the "perfect" guy, Edward Cullen. Edward turns out to be a "vampire". Even though he thirsts for her blood, he loves her. Bella has a nasty habit of randomly falling over.
Apparently Meyer didn't know crap before she wrote Twilight, because in her imaginary world vampires sparkle when the sun hits their skin.
Even though Edward is dead, and has no blood pumping through his body, he can mysteriously have sex with Bella. He later gets her pregnant.
For some reason, he can feel emotion and love Bella, even though vampires have no soul. Edward doesn't have fangs, and drinks the blood of animals because he doesn't like killing people(Where have we seen that before... maybe Interview with a vampire?).
The only reason girls like Twilight is because they feel Bella is special. They feel Bella is special because they think they can relate to her. They think they can relate to her because Bella is depressed because her life is hard. Then Prince Charming (Edward) comes and rescues her, so they feel their Prince Charming will come and rescue them.
Nobody really realizes it, but a lot of the Twilight characters are very similar to the BtVS characters.
Edward: Angel
James: Spike
Bella: a weaker Buffy
Jacob: Xander/Oz
The Bella/Edward relationship:
Bella: Edward... you are so perfect..
Edward: I will always protect you...
Bella: Your eyes ae amazing...
Edward: I will always protect you.. even though you smell like drugs..
Bella: I'm about to fall over, come save me..
Edward: I can run really fast..
Bella: Wanna have sex now?
Edward: Sure..
Edward: Angel
James: Spike
Bella: a weaker Buffy
Jacob: Xander/Oz
The Bella/Edward relationship:
Bella: Edward... you are so perfect..
Edward: I will always protect you...
Bella: Your eyes ae amazing...
Edward: I will always protect you.. even though you smell like drugs..
Bella: I'm about to fall over, come save me..
Edward: I can run really fast..
Bella: Wanna have sex now?
Edward: Sure..
by Invader Jenna November 6, 2010
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It’s too boring to explain, so...presenting TWILIGHT IN (mostly) EMOJIS!
Bella is 1 and Edward is 2.
BOOK 1: 1😮2😐1😍2😠2: “Bye. I’m ditching school.” 1😭2:”actually nope I love u too much”1😄2:oh btw I’m 🧛 ♂️. And I ✨1:😍😍😍
BOOK 2: “Bye I’m going to South America!” 1(is literally mentally weak and cannot withstand the pain of being away from him)😭*jumps off a cliff* (I know, like wtf?)2😭”Aah I made u die!” *idiot werewolf accidentally makes the vampire think Bella’s dead* “oh no I’ll go to Italy and make the Italian vampires kill me! (Again, WTF?) *insert chase scene here* “Oh ur alive nvm” 1😚2😙
BOOK 3: 1 “yikes I’m 18. Kill me so I don’t get to old”! 2❌ *repeat throughout entire book*
BOOK 4: 2: “Fine I’ll make u a 🧛 ♀️ But only if u 👰 me first 1: “NOOO I WANNA DIE!” 2: 👎 only if u do it my way. 1✅ *she freaks out at wedding. They go to honeymoon. Insert R rated scenes* 1 yikes im 🤰2 we must go 🏡 1 👍 2 uh oh ur probably gonna die. *insert really bad plot twist that we were all expecting. He bites her, she lives,, yadda yadda* 1 🤱
THE END (THANKFULLY)
It’s too boring to explain, so...presenting TWILIGHT IN (mostly) EMOJIS!
Bella is 1 and Edward is 2.
BOOK 1: 1😮2😐1😍2😠2: “Bye. I’m ditching school.” 1😭2:”actually nope I love u too much”1😄2:oh btw I’m 🧛 ♂️. And I ✨1:😍😍😍
BOOK 2: “Bye I’m going to South America!” 1(is literally mentally weak and cannot withstand the pain of being away from him)😭*jumps off a cliff* (I know, like wtf?)2😭”Aah I made u die!” *idiot werewolf accidentally makes the vampire think Bella’s dead* “oh no I’ll go to Italy and make the Italian vampires kill me! (Again, WTF?) *insert chase scene here* “Oh ur alive nvm” 1😚2😙
BOOK 3: 1 “yikes I’m 18. Kill me so I don’t get to old”! 2❌ *repeat throughout entire book*
BOOK 4: 2: “Fine I’ll make u a 🧛 ♀️ But only if u 👰 me first 1: “NOOO I WANNA DIE!” 2: 👎 only if u do it my way. 1✅ *she freaks out at wedding. They go to honeymoon. Insert R rated scenes* 1 yikes im 🤰2 we must go 🏡 1 👍 2 uh oh ur probably gonna die. *insert really bad plot twist that we were all expecting. He bites her, she lives,, yadda yadda* 1 🤱
THE END (THANKFULLY)
by heqgviufq January 24, 2018
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