SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermi

Some neurosurgeon posted a definition for masturbate with a bunch of synonyms and decided it would be a good idea to make them all one big link, which is how you got here to this page. Here's to that genius.

I hope that person catches AIDS from masturbating.

SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.

by Catamount June 21, 2008

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commit die

what I want to do rn

I want to commit die

by MRMIDNIGHT0408 February 28, 2022

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commit not die

telling someone to not die because you romantically love them so much.

PLEASE COMMIT NOT DIE!

by unteched March 20, 2021

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committed slam

Committed slam is a fuck buddy that only fucks you and buys you chipotle (and let's you get guac). Committed slams are not allowed to contact eachother before 7 pm. Communication is trickly fuck-based

We aren't dating. He's more of a committed slam.

by CommittedSlam October 28, 2015

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