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Some neurosurgeon posted a definition for masturbate with a bunch of synonyms and decided it would be a good idea to make them all one big link, which is how you got here to this page. Here's to that genius.
I hope that person catches AIDS from masturbating.



SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.
by Catamount June 21, 2008
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commit not die

telling someone to not die because you romantically love them so much.
by unteched March 20, 2021
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Commitment

Every swinging dick should be there! I don’t want to hear my wife’s got a pot roast on!

Commitment!
Commitment mean every swinging dick should be there
by TroyC January 18, 2023
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commital

Commital is a word to describe how obligational something is.
“The meeting wasn’t as commital as I thought it would be.”
by Bettyy May 19, 2021
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false-hope-commitment

when you break off every other relationship you have for one person you hope to date in the future and then realize how unlikely a relationship is with them.

a person who suffers from false-hope-commitment is probably also depressed, if not they will be.
did you see them they look like their suffering from false-hope-commitment
by Anarchon March 17, 2021
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Commit a crime against capitalism

Yes crimes against capitalism exist. However this crime is currently not achievable unless G-d says capitalism can't exist.
Commit a crime against capitalism is committed when normal people go nuts 🙃 and want to replace capitalism with their own liberal woke ideas. Punishment: remove people like Bill Gates and John Kerry from all levers of power.
by Sexydimma November 26, 2022
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