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Laws of the House of God

A set of hospital rules/truths from Samuel Shem's book, "The House of God". I. Gomers don't die. II. Gomers go to ground. III. At a cardiac arrest, the first procedure is to take your own pulse. IV. The patient is the one with the disease. V. Placement comes first. VI. There is no body cavity that cannot be reached with a #14 needle and a good strong arm. VII. Age + BUN = Lasix dose. VIII. They can always hurt you more. IX. The only good admission is a dead admission. X. If you don't take a temperature, you can't find a fever. XI. Show me a medical student who only triples my work and I will kiss his feet. XII. If the radiology resident and the medical student both see a lesion on the chest x-ray, there can be no lesion there. XIII. The delivery of medical care is to do as much nothing as possible. See also: gomer.
I thought my internal medicine internship had gotten me depressed, but after reading the Laws of the House of God, I'm downright suicidal.
by Dr. Joe August 10, 2004
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shit-housed

(adj)- A step beyond just being drunk/high. If 15 beers gets you drunk, then 20+ gets your shit-housed. A replacement for the term "shit-faced".
I did like 12 beer bongs last night. I was totally shit-housed.
by Seeker of Soporifics February 13, 2005
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Related Words

house of anubis

house of anubis is a mystery/horror/drama american tv show. it is filled with mystery which will keep you guessing, horror which will scare you and drama which will make you gasp, cry and laugh. hoa also have the romance & friendship department, it'll make you aww and smile. it certainly have the best cast ever we could ever have, they portray the characters very well and made the characters seem alive. the director, producer, camera guys, makeup artists are also very important to us too, without them hoa would never happen. hoa is the best show ever :)
'OMG did you watch yesterday's episode of house of anubis? it kept me on the edge of my seat!'
by saltychampagne April 17, 2013
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House of Leaves

One of the creepiest and most involving reads you will have in your life, its a story about a House that is alive, not in the gay "Monster house" way, but doors and hallways that are pitch black constantly appear. Read it. Be sacred.
House of Leaves is one freaky ass book!
by Dragonbreathp9d August 10, 2006
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house cat

There are two kinds of single people, house cats and wildcats. Wildcats go out hunting and hookup with new people. House cats do not hunt, they only hookup with friends or people they already know, similar to a cat staying in the house to be fed .
Eric is such a house cat, he's only able to hookup with girls from work and is not able to get with a girl at a bar.
by wildcat1123 June 16, 2017
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Hash House Harriers (H3)

International organisation of good-natured drunkards known as hashers who enjoy cross country running or hashing drink lots of beer, inflict cruel punishments on each other when bored, call each other by bizarre hash names, sing hash hymns and are basically sound people.
The H3 have some of the best collections of obscene songs on the web.
by Britarse December 18, 2003
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crack house

A house or apartment where crack cocaine users smoke crack, socialize, and pool resources to get deals on crack. Involves a fairly stable cast of characters with new people usually being introduced by somebody known to the house. Should be nearby to a trap house or crack spot, which are places where crack is sold for profit. Crack houses provide an easy introduction for the crack scene newcomer who may not know where the crack spots are, or who is unknown to dealers, as people at the crack house will facilitate obtaining crack as necessary.

Use of the crack house generally involves paying a house fee (crack or cash) to the person or couple whose house it is. Crack houses are preferred by people who can't smoke at home or who like to smoke in a social setting. Females in the crack house may approach men to offer sexual services in exchange for shared crack, and such arrangements are viewed as normal in most crack houses, with sex sometimes occurring in side rooms and other times in public areas of the house.
Damn Stacey got the best crack house. She don't let no dudes be beggin' and they is like six fresh chickenheads up there.
by decl July 15, 2014
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