Chase the Turtle

Chasing the turtle refers to consuming Xanax in order to slow down, or chill. Xanax is often used after using other recreational drugs (with stimulant or insomniac properties) in order to induce sleep or enter a "come-down" period. As a turtle is a slow animal, chasing the turtle naturally means to slow down, usually after a long night of partying.
Hey man, you're pretty wired after doing that blow, maybe you should chase the turtle.
by Uncle Apple May 02, 2011
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walk the turtle

Being slowed down by a drag.
Man working with Dave has been so slow, he’s making me really walk the turtle.
by Turtleman808 February 01, 2020
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turtle wax

The act of ejaculating in someone's helmet while it is left unattended, then getting them to place it on their head. A practical joke particular to the military.
Joe left his helmet in the truck so I rubbed one out in it then he put it on, it was the perfect turtle wax.
by Aco FIST October 23, 2013
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Turtle Heading

Bro we really need to find a shitter! I've been Turtle Heading for the last 20 minutes! If I don't get there soon Mr. Hankey is gonna come visit.
by RoyalTokes July 08, 2018
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Disco Turtle

The act of opening a co-worker's CD drive and then flipping over their mouse, whilst calling out "Disco...turtle". This is done only for the purpose of annoying them.

The actions may be performed either by themselves or together, but if performed together, "Disco" always precedes "Turtle".
Ethan leans over Brandon's computer while he is talking to Lucas. Ethan hits the open button on Brandon's CD drive and calls out "Disco!" and then flips his mouse over, calling out "Turtle!"

Brandon says, "Dammit, I got Disco Turtled!"
by King of the Water Cooler May 12, 2010
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Shy Turtle

When you let a little bit of shit come out, and then squat over someone's face, smearing your shit around a bit.

Then withdraw the poop back into your ass, like a shy turtle.
When Matt and Nick were younger, Matt used to shy turtle Nick in his sleep.
by River and Hannah May 04, 2009
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