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Verizon

I rather use tin can phones then use their service. They have a dozen monkeys and a turtle in charge of their billing and thousands of towel heads working in customer service.
Friend-"Dude how'd you get that much money back"
Me-"Shh, because a dozen monkeys and a turtle are incharge of their billing."
by jerryblank May 17, 2005
mugGet the Verizonmug.

Verizon

A wireless cell phone company that claims to be "America's most reliable". They have terrible commercials, I mean, who wants 1000 people following them everywhere?
by whatserface March 11, 2008
mugGet the Verizonmug.

Verizon

Mathematically inept to the point of not knowing dollars from cents. For example, see the YouTube clips where a succession of Verizon employees demonstrate they do not know the difference.
Q. Why does anyone play the lottery at those odds?
A. They don't realise it's a tax on verizons.

Q. What does it mean when a footballer says he's going to give 110%?
A. No-one really knows. It's a thing verizons say when they want to sound keen and cool.
by Schmunzelmonster December 14, 2008
mugGet the Verizonmug.

Verizon Assclowns

People that work for Verizon that can't comprehend it is impossible to call them with a MIFI hotspot. You would get more help from muggers.
The Verizon assclowns told me I could check my bandwidth usage by calling an 800 number with the MIFI device.
by Jim Biggins November 6, 2012
mugGet the Verizon Assclownsmug.

A verizon guy

-The process of ejaculating into someone's ear, and then asking if they can hear you now.
"My girlfriend is deaf because i showed her A verizon guy."
by luke Finn July 7, 2008
mugGet the A verizon guymug.

Verizon Droid

The best phone ever in the entire world! Released November 6th, 2009 in the United States and is the result of Motorola, Google and Verizon having a baby. This God of a phone has virtual and physical qwerty keyboards, runs Android 2.0, Google Maps, an AWESOME navigation system, sick web browser, 5mp camera with duel led flash, ability to update mutliple apps at the same time and just about anything that phone can possibly have. Made popular by iDont ads, criticizing the iPhone, which given the features and the fact that its on the best network in the US, it definitely gives the iPhone a run for its money. BUY THIS PHONE!
Speaker 1: whoa dude! you have the sickest phone i think i've ever seen. and it updates soo quickly!
Speaker 2: yes! its the Verizon Droid - the greatest phone ever!
by droido November 6, 2009
mugGet the Verizon Droidmug.

Verizon

When you either receive head or jack your meat then bust in the females ears and ask her " can you hear me now "
head sperm bust sex funnyverizon
by The guy that invented this mov February 4, 2010
mugGet the Verizonmug.

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