Teaching his goldfish how to whistle

Another nice way to say masturbation without being so obvious.

"Where's (insert any name here) at?"

"He's in the backyard teaching his goldfish how to whistle."

by Alert The Press! May 14, 2006

Tracking Cookie

Noun

1. A Tracking Cookie is a cookie frequently found by your anti-virus scanner, it serves no other purpose to piss you off and waste your time.

2. A cookie is a small amount of data, which often includes an anonymous unique identifier, which is sent to your browser from a website's computers and stored on your computer's hard drive. Cookies are required to use some Urban Dictionary services. Urban Dictionary and its ad management partners ("Ad Partners") use cookies to record current session information. You are required to login to your Urban Dictionary editor account after a certain period of time has elapsed in order to verify your use of the account and protect you against others inadvertently accessing your account.

1. Norton Anti-Virus has detected a Tracking Cookie.

You: "I DIDN'T BUY YOU TO FIND COOKIES PIECE OF SHIT"

by Scradman! March 23, 2010

Teaching My Liver to Swim

Drinking heavily

Finals just ended and I am going to spend the entire weekend teaching my liver to swim.

by craptastrophy October 14, 2011

Tracking (Trinidadian Term)

To be flirting with someone, running after them, or hitting on them, complimenting them cause you have a somewhat interest in them etc.

Eg. Tracking (Trinidadian Term)

Tina : Hey look at that hot guy over there checking you out.
Sasha : I know, but he has a girl friend and he's only tracking me. Every time I go to some bar and I'm alone he always coming and flirting with me or something. Like what the hell.
Tina : Boys would always be boys, but don't act like we don't be tracking no guys when we out.
Sasha: But we're single Tina, he has a girlfriend, that's the point I'm trying to make.

by VampireLover May 14, 2013

tracking vagina

when the female gender is able to locate something that a male cannot. See manlooking. Usually used in response to the term manlooking when conversing with a female.

him: I can't find my car keys.
her: stop manlooking and you'll find them.
him: turn on your tracking vagina and help me!
her: check your pants pockets from last night.
him: found them!

by Katlakat September 23, 2016

teaching grandma to suck eggs

Teaching some process which should already be known, especially to a person who should already know it.

"What does this woman think she's doing? Teaching multiplication to a Calculus class is like teaching grandma to suck eggs!"

by Douglas Baker August 4, 2005

teaching sweater

A type of sweater worn specifically by professional grade school teachers, who exhibit high levels of authoritarianism. The sweater itself is usually wool, cotton, or a combination of wool and cotton, and it typically is designed with horizontal stripes. Color scheme is ususally shades of blue, with white or black accents to punctuate one's level of professionalism and real worldism. A teaching sweater is not meant to be worn outside of the classroom, and the wearer should be careful to not be seen wearing it in highly populated, dense college towns that are high in bar and club stock. Wearage of such garb in these places ususally leads to embarassment for everyone involved.

Upon examination of of the exuberant grade school teacher's teaching sweater, a gaggle of Penn State frat boys proceeded to excessively hate crime him until the police arrived.

by Dan Himself July 27, 2006