painting the deck furniture

phrase used to express discontent with business policy, usually due to lack of response and change to current business environment.

employee1: "We need to increase production capacity to keep up with current demand. Too bad our company won't invest in system upgrades."
employee2: "Yea, we're just painting the deck furniture, waiting for the Titanic to sink."

by h-dub July 28, 2004

The Decree of Dual Desires

A law that stems from ancient times, states that all men born into the world with a penis shall have at least two intense sexual desires. This rule states that a man must have at least as many fetishes as he does genatalia. Such fetishes may include, but are not limited to, foot fetish, bondage fetish, femdom fetish, hentai fetish, earlobe fetish, knee fetish, boob fetish, ass fetish, attractive singing voice fetish, etc. Of course a man may have more than 2 fetishes, but according to the decree of dual desires, a true man has at least 2.

Megan: So, Joe, you got any fetishes? ;)
Joe: I have a major foot fetish.
Megan: Is that your only one?
Joe: Yep.
Megan: What a faggot! According to the decree of dual desires, a true man has at least 2. I can't sleep with you.
Joe: NOOOOO!

by EarlobeFetishMan February 4, 2014

Under the deck

A phrase used to end a conversation after it has been going on for exactly 14 minutes and 32 seconds.

Person A, 14:08 in: And then I was all like, "Hey, that's totally not fair"

Person B, 14:20 in: Well, I just think that's not fai..

Person A, 14:32 in: UNDER THE DECK.

*End of conversation*

by Risser February 28, 2009

played the deuce from the bottom of the deck

played the duece from the bottom of the deck: leaving a shit stain on one's undergarment; skid marks

Damn, when I took off my pants, I saw I had played the deuce from the bottom of the deck.

by TooSick4U October 9, 2008

Rearranging the deck chairs on the titanic

A joke Stephen Colbert made on the 2006 White House Correspondents' Dinner.

Some people say changing the cabinet around is like rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. That's not true; this administration isn't sinking. In fact, this administration is soaring; if anything, it's like rearranging the deck chairs on the Hindenburg.

by presleyg July 28, 2006

staining the deck

the act of taking a shit on the pussy

man 1:man i stained the deck last night
man 2:dude fukn nastey, but i love staining the deck

by skinhead1488 August 1, 2010

Mopping the Deck

A technique used when tea bagging which involves running on the treadmill for approximately 20 minutes in order to acquire suffice perspiration on ones testicles. The testicles are then placed on the desired recipients face and manoevered about in a mopping fashion resembling a sailor mopping the deck. Optimally done when victim is extremely passed the fuck out.

At the end of the night some wasted out of his mind idiot passed out on the floor. Bad move. He eventually woke up after 3 hairy sweaty guys finished Mopping the Deck on him.

by Big Man77 January 22, 2008