texting

1. an invention that allows people, usually in their teenage years, to talk to more than one of their "friends" at once

2. the reason kids don't learn as much at school...except maybe a better way of not getting caught using your phone.

3. something the majority of people over the age of forty can't seem to figure out.

4. the easiest way for you to ignore someone that you don't want to talk to.. as opposed to refusing their phone calls.

5. something parents hate you to do all the time, but what we can't stop doing.

1. Rachel: hey hoe whats crackin'?

Cheryl: hey slut i'm just texting like 400 different people at the same time.

2. Mother: hey sweetie, what did you learn at school today?

Child: *click click click*...what? sorry...oh nothing

Mother: nothing?

Child: uhhh...nope?

3. Adult: GODDAMNIT! how in all hell does this work!?!?

Teenager: *sigh* omg. wtf? y dont u no how to work it? its so ez

4. Person you don't know but somehow has your number: hey you.

You: *delete message*... what message?

5. Kevin: *laughs to self about a text he just recently recieved*

Parent: what are you laughing at?

Kevin: nothing

Parent: you're kidding me right? are you texting again?!??!

Kevin: ...

Parent: WHY DON'T U JUST CALL THEM? you have a PHONE for a reason...if you wanted a keyboard i would have gotton you that!

Kevin:...
*walks out of room and continues to text*

by pinksockedhobo1 January 8, 2009

texting supremacy

Having the last word in texting form by not responding. Shows social superiority in that one has better things to do than respond to a text that says "kk". Double points if used successfully against a member of the opposite sex. An ego-boosting phenomenon.

Emma: I didn't text Ted back, he tells me he's going to the gym? Like I care.
Elise: Texting supremacy. Way to not dignify that shit.

by Plasticworks March 20, 2011

french testing

A Jamaican colloquialism for placing your penis between a woman's breasts and proceeding to pleasure yourself. titty fuck

Well endowed girl comes into view....

Tom: "Check out those double Ds man!!!"

Mark: "French testing for the win!"

by earlito December 5, 2010

Texting company

When your alone and bored so you text someone for some company. They are called "texting company".

Texting company:
Jack: How r u Jil?
Jill: M gud, r u txtin me caus yr aftr txtn company?
Jack: Yeah, im all alone n sad :'(
Jill: Leave me alone you weirdo

by Jimmety Cricket June 28, 2011

drug testing

a technique used by many companies that if not stipulated in the contract is in fact illegal. however once employed you are subject to their tests. there is blood (rare), hair (pretty rare), urine (most common), spit, and other types of testing that pick up on the basic drugs. however these tests are so fuckin intense now they pretty much tell the story of your life

*Modern Day Drug Testing*
Employer: So we got your drug test back today...
Employee: Ya, everything should be good I'm clean.
Employer: Ya but it says here that you look at porn on thursdays...get out.

by The Gibber March 8, 2007

Teffting

An act of recreational fun where a person takes off their pants and underwear, does a handstand on a near-by wall and shits explosive diarrhea into the air, causing it to rain down one's body like a chocolate dessert fountain.

"Wow. That party last night was insane. Did you hear Travis got caught teffting in the bathroom?"

"What? Seriously?"

"Yep. Shit all over himself. It was amazing."

by NotSamButPaulInstead October 15, 2016

Testing spray patterns

The act of fooling around and not doing your job. More specifically, the act of writing, or spraying, the numbers 40 on a wall in an undeniable reference to a 40 rock of cocaine. It's mostly used as an excuse for not doing your work.

Person 1 "Are you slacking off again?"
Person 2 "Nah man, I'm testing spray patterns!"

OR

Person 1 "Why are you writing 40 everywhere?"
Person 2 "I was just testing spray patterns."

by Kurzawa June 16, 2011