spaff

A term for masturbation made popular by E4 comedy 'The Inbetweeners.'

(Reading a self-penned valentine's card) "Jay, you massive stud, please spaff on my tits. From your valentine's bitch. PS. And on my face."

by Choadalay-dee-heeee January 9, 2013

Splaff

A splaff is a person that every pub owner in town knows. He or she will have invariably been barred from most of the pubs but ultimately the pub will change hands and the unsuspecting owner will let the splaff in without trouble.

Everybody knows exactly who the splaff is when they meet them at night but due to state dependent memory have little memory of them when they are sober.

The place got trashed last night. That splaff knocked over tables and glasses. They're not getting in here again.

by DonAdrianoDeArmando August 25, 2012

spaff rag

piece of cloth used to wipe up excess semen.

'If I wake up one more time with a spaff rag stuck to my face there'll be trouble!'

by sinemenacheck February 18, 2005

spaffed

Boris Johnson defines spaffed as 'the spending of public money on non-recent child abuse investigations'.

“You know, £60m I saw was being spaffed up a wall on some investigation into historic child abuse and all this kind of thing. What on earth is that going to do to protect the public now?”

by This Is Not Rob March 13, 2019

Spaff Wrangling

Ensuring a cowboy's ten-gallon hat is full to the brim with manky-man-splash.

I got caught spaff wrangling, but I only got the electric chair.

by Mr WithersSpakeThrust May 27, 2009

spaffable boobage

adj., a cracking set of breasts upon which one would gladly spaff, the receivance of a pearl necklace

"See that girl over there? with the spaffable boobage?" (Variants; "I'd like to spaff on her boobage, good and proper."

by Gareth Ackerman September 16, 2006

The Guvnor Spaff

When a bloke notably from the Swansea area, ejaculates over a girls tits, giving them a well good spraying.

Did you hear about The Guvnor Spaff, he sprayed her tits with his juice.

by Curry club January 24, 2021