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Steven Seagal

A professional 80's pornstar who moved on to acting in the 90's. As soon as the 80's were over, he stopped making pornos just like THAT. Before his porno career he was a professional gay bodybuilder who occasionally dabbled in strongman competitions. He dominated that one where he lifts the boulder all over the place. While he was doing this, he often squinted and looked constipated, but doody would eventually drop out of his ass as he victoriously finished.
In his pornos he was most notoriously known for ponytail penetration. That is, he stuck his ponytail in some poontang. He inspired 2girls1cup with his 80's feature 2girls1ponytail. Many of his other scenes show him in the background beating off to 3 orgies: girl/girl, guy/girl, guy/guy. His most famous pornos are "Aikido in a Speedo" and "Out for an Orgy". In the former he is seen dancing around with pigtails wearing a pink speedo in front of many Japanese girls. He got banned from the porno industry for snapping the necks of too many co-stars. Seagal also forgets to wipe after he takes a dump. He just uses the residue as a quick source of hair gel. His action movie career was most impressive. He does an excellent job as the antagonist in Kindergarten Cop and he also plays as that one convict in ConAir. He's the convict with the ponytail who is burned by Cyrus The Virus for stealing his plane. It's false to say he is fat because he was absolutely RIPPED in out for a kill.
Why is the sky blue?

Because Steven Seagal did porn in the 80's...
by WAFFLESTOMPER666 October 20, 2008
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Seagal-do

-noun

1. A philosophy that teaches the many ways of Steven Seagal.

2. A cock puncher.

3. A bad actor.
Q. What is the secret of Seagal-do?

A. The secret is not to act, but to be.
by B. Patterson August 30, 2009
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Related Words

Seagally

When you're washed up and get a fat belly like modern Steven Seagal.
Kenny Powers got so Seagally after the Majors.
by @100lbsofdope March 29, 2019
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shapalaq

used mostly by kazakhs in kazakhstan and other central asians, means slapping someone
Jane: my child was acting very feisty lately
Aisha: he needs a shapalaq
by smooth1212121207070707 August 20, 2021
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Seagal Staredown

The act of attempting to instill fear into someones mind by sharply turning your head only and staring into their eyes with a sharp look, only to fail due to not being threatening or deadly in anyway. Usually attempted by fat, overweight people, or by a man by the name of Johnathan Diaz.

Reference to Steven Seagals film cover of "Today You Die"
"I bumped into someone earlier and he tried to give me the Seagal Staredown. Was I supposed to feel threatened?"
by crimsonchin27 April 17, 2011
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seanalle

The baddest bitch ever she loyal she is fine funny smart and not a whore thot ect. And she definetly isn't ratchet
Seanalle is bomb asf
by Hshsjs. June 17, 2016
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steven seagal

One of the coolest actors ever. A ninja and not afraid to show it.
Me> damn, steven seagal is the fucking man

Retard> that guy is a shitty actor and his movies su-

Steven Seagal> -appears out of nowhere and swiftfully executes a flawless move, paralyzing the un-wise one from the back down-

Me> thanks, steven

Steven Seagal> no problemo -dissapears-
by GOERNR January 17, 2006
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