Meaty plonker

1. An abundantly large penis, possessed of both girth and width

2. A large stool that lands with a loud "plop" and sinks to the bottom of the toilet

3. An overweight or well-built stupid person

"Look at the meaty plonker at that guy, he'd break your pelvis"

"Some sneaky bastard left a meaty plonker in the toilet, I'll smoke him out"

"Get off the road you meaty plonker!! What are you trying to do, get us all killed?!"

by Ms Mongaliska January 5, 2014

Security plonker

Socially retarded, untrained, Unintelligent, unattractive person often employed to work an unnecessary position.

Look at that security plonker over there, hasnt done an ounce of work all day!

by Locnes November 14, 2016

Classic plonker

Classic plonker: a friendly term for an arsehole.

Why, my friend, you're really a classic plonker sometimes! What's a classic plonker? It's a friendly term for an arsehole, my friend...

by Drew Byrne. October 16, 2008

Pulling my plonker

Plonker is British slang for penis. Literally pull my plonker is to masturbate. But nowadays the expression someone is pulling my plonker is used with the meaning of someone is messing with me or trying to make fun of me.

This Brit told me in the UK the weather is always sunny and hot. 0bviously he was just pulling my plonker

by Teleco November 26, 2016

Done a Real Plonker

An endearing, self-confidence-reducing term to be used when you have well and truly be fucked in the arse but a section of the powerlines track (Perth, WA). Usually consists of one: an overconfident 4x4 driver, two: a Land Rover Discovery, Three: a water crossing, and Four: a malfunctioning center differential.

A main situation timeline for the term "Done a Real Plonker" to be used is as such. See's water crossing, aims, drives through, bogs, sinks, floods car, gets towed out because, land rover..

Third Person "That guy Austin sure done a real plonker on himself driving like that in rear-wheel drive"
First Person "Ah fuck I've done a real plonker, this is the lowest point of my life and now my girlfriend is gonna leave me and get stuck in the washing machine with her step brother nearby"

by 12HT4Lyfe October 31, 2023

Im only pulling your plonker

expression used after a practical joke has been played on a fellow subordinate

"Hey Jim... your mother is dead"
"oh my god really....?"
"Nah ...only pulling your plonker"

by Big Jakey T March 17, 2003

Plonker😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💀💀💀💀💀💀

Plonker😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💀💀💀💀💀💀 is a slur used to describe how the person Mace is.

Lauren, AM, Rodrigo, Nick and Ben:

Hey Plonker😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💀💀💀💀💀💀 i hope you had a lovely day!

Mace: STOP BEING F**K**G MACEPHOBIC

by Maybe Stan Boy November 4, 2021