plonker

a poo that is so heavy that makes a massive splash with the toilet water that hits your arse and makes you feel wet.

aw man i just took a massive plonker!

by 56413257658374211453 September 2, 2007

plonker

Almost any penis, but not a very small one.
A foolish person.
A big wet kiss.
Almost anything that is remarkably big.

Almost certainly most derive from plonker as size, but this in turn possibly from "to plonk", to place with little or no accuracy possibly because it was big and heavy. See also plonka.

"Put your plonker away, Eric."
"Oh Bob, you're such a plonker."
"When I said she looked nice, she gave me a plonker straight on the lips."
"It was the biggest turkey we'd ever had. A real plonker."
"She plonked the meal down in front of me. 'Get stuck in,' she cried."

by R. Clayton Jr December 28, 2005

plonker

A polite, in mixed company, and alternative word for stupid cunt and wanker.

John is a plonker.

by Dick Splash August 17, 2003

plonker

Someone whose words are not worth reading.
See also plonk.

"Sheesh, what a plonker, I just forwarded all mail from him to the bit bucket.

by Alexis_J_M September 17, 2005

plonker

What you call someone who is so drunk that his head hits the table and makes a loud "Plonk!"

Ingrid is such a plonker! She is smashed out of her mind!

by Boberto the Great December 3, 2007

Plonker

To be so drunk you're unable to remember the meaning of certain words.

Gerry: You were fairly hammered last night.
Keith: I was off me bleedin plonker I was!!!!!!! Yeeoooww!!!!

by gerbear85 May 28, 2008

plankers

without a general plan or direction, aimless. In most Verizon cellular phones, "plankers" will appear when trying to text the word "planless" in T9 word.

After I got ditched at the gay bar, I was totally plankers. Beers, y'all.

by Trelvington May 22, 2010