toilet paper 

Best Invention Ever. Period.

Bill:What the fuck would I wipe my ass with if toilet paper wasn't invented.
Bob: Your sock, dude?

toilet paper by snorgle October 19, 2003

Toilet Paper 

A precious commodity rumored to have healing abilities, especially for the flue. Toilet paper is a rarity that few would ever see.

Person 1: "Coronavirus is spreading! What do we do?"
Person 2: "Quick! We need to go to Woolies and buy some toilet paper!"

Toilet Paper by The_not_famous_Clinton March 9, 2020

finger thru the toilet paper moment 

a sinking realization that you've just fucked up and it's too late to do anything about it

this afternoon i had a "finger thru the toilet paper moment" when i blurted out bob's girlfriend's name in front of his wife.

finger thru the toilet paper moment by banjobill January 9, 2009

Plan B Toilet Paper 

A fallback plan for running out of toilet paper, which involves taking an unscheduled shower to prevent dingleberries or racing tracks.

Dude, this Plan B Toilet Paper is getting old. If you kill the toilet paper, buy some more!

Plan B Toilet Paper by RootsofWar November 18, 2011

toilet paper 

1. A soft paper-like product that you use to clean your anus after you poop.

2. A product that flys nicely over nieghbors trees.

I just wiped my ass with some toilet paper.

Damn, That was a good throw, man I think the toilet paper hit every branch on the way down that tree!

toilet paper by Stevereno January 15, 2007

toilet paper boxing glove 

A toilet paper boxing glove is where some individuals use half a roll of toilet paper each time they wipe their butt.The entire hand is wound with 10-20 wraps of TP all the way down to the wrist. At first glance,the toilet tissue bandaged hand might be mistaken to be broken or badly burned.

Dad looked like he'd been to the emergency room with that toilet paper boxing glove.

toilet paper boxing glove by wolfbait51 April 16, 2011

rest stop toilet paper

Super low grade single ply butt ribbon found in the bathrooms of rest stops,service stations and most other public rest rooms.Contains visible chunks of wood pulp.15 sheets glued together qualifies as plywood.What name brands compare their product to and refer to as "the next leading brand".

I got splinters in my fingers from using that rest stop toilet paper.

rest stop toilet paper by wolfbait51 June 2, 2011