Shlurp my own Shmeat

When you do not trust a female to perform oral sex on your penis, so you do it yourself

Deadass brug, ion trust these thots so I shlurp my own shmeat.

by Big nigga shit you namm sayin August 31, 2017

I kiss my own tightness

A phrase used to describe how much you appreciate yourself when other's don't.

"You know rapper RM?"
"Yeah, he's not appreciated enough."
"That's why he says, (I kiss my own tightness)."
"Oh, because he appreciates his self so no one has too."

by ParkMinho August 15, 2018

i'm so bad i can suck my own dick

the act of being bad enough to suck one's own dick. by proving the ability to suck your own dick, people will know you're bad. a bad ass mother fucker. because you can suck your own dick. or alternatively, for someone already known for being bad, one could assume they know how to suck their own dick. first used by the great ll cool j on his 1990 album, walking with a panther.

sucker MCs really make me sick
i'm so bad i can suck my own dick
-LL Cool J

nice one.

by aludin May 18, 2007

Snuff my own seed

Slang term for getting an abortion

Herman Cain: And if you make a little mistake with one of your ho’s, you’ll want to dispose of that problem toot sweet, no questions asked, right?

Anonymous black man: Naw, that’s too cold. I don’t snuff my own seed…

Herman Cain: Huh. Really? (pause) Well, maybe you do have a reason to vote Republican!

by This_is_Herman_Cain! October 28, 2011

i reject your reality and substitute it with my own

a one liner comeback that basically means that you're right and the other person is wrong. the 'realities' being the varying opinions in the argument/conversation

i reject your reality and substitute it with my own (i refuse to accept that you are right so i will change your point to mine)

teacher: i told you yesterday what the homework was. why isnt it done
student: you didnt tell me, therefore i do not know
teacher: why has everyone else done it then?
student: i reject your reality and substitute it with my own ;)
teacher: /mindfuck

by llamasareoverrated August 13, 2011

Toot my own dick

A bastardization of the idiom "Toot my own Horn" but emphasizing a narcissism equivalent to wanting to have sex with yourself. Used ironically to brag.

Person 1: I don't mean to toot my own dick but I think this is the best painting I have ever made and better than what anyone else will ever make.

Person 2: Keep it up and eventually that ego will expand to the point it collapses and you devolve into an asshole.

by A. Creed May 8, 2010

i would rather eat my own toe

A very good phrase to use when you dont want to do something

Person one: Hey will you go out with me?

Person two: Ummm well to be quite honest with you i would rather eat my own toe!

by Tom Griffiths February 24, 2008