The Keto Gods

A group of deities aligned to help souls of the mortal plane through first world problems.

I pray to the keto gods the line at chipotle goes smoothly

by cooperhydroblaster November 2, 2023

Keto

He loves JBL

Drinking milshakes

He is the best
And the worst person you net in live

I meet guy in shop i think he was fine

-what he was doing

-checiking a JBL and saying ale nakurwia basem
-typical keto

by Mrozo1 November 21, 2021

Dirty Keto

It’s a Dirty Sanchez but performed on a vegan

Last night he gave me a Dirty Keto, did I mention I am a vegan?

by Sludvigs July 30, 2022

Keto Daddy

A sugar daddy that doesn't want any sexual contact with their partner

"I'm so over men, all I want is their money."
"Girl, you should get a Keto Daddy. It's the best of both worlds"

by PervertedBinChicken June 25, 2025

Keto Cubes

Ice cubes made from your wifes boyfriends jizz!

In our house we use keto cubes instead of chilled orange slices!!!!

Big Citrus aren't fooling me!!!

by Propheciesforfritzy September 6, 2025

Keto-High

The euphoric effect created by the selective metabolism of fats rather than carbohydrates.

Ok. 48 hour water fast followed by zero carb diet equals equilibrium ketosis; I’ve never been as grounded and physically in control. THIS is the Keto-High. It’s not for the weak, but it’s worth it IF you can get there.

by YAWA September 6, 2025

Don’t fuck with my keto!

Once established, that prime condition of fat burning metabolism shall not be disrupted by any outside influence!

Goddam! I’ve been pissing on a keto stick for 3 days and it’s FINALLY positive; and my friggin’ family brings out ‘start yer diet tomorrow’ and ‘there’s chocolate ice cream for dessert’. This isn’t necessarily about losing weight (although regaining a 6 pack is fucking amazing), it’s about CONTROL. I and I alone decide what to fuel my body with and the mindset of ketosis (plus caffeine) is right where I like to be. So, don’t fuck with my keto! And I won’t fuck with yer carbs. Ok?

by YAWA September 7, 2025