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Housewife's Napkin 

A small cloth or beverage napkin kept in the nightstand of an under sexed housewife. The Housewife's Napkin is used to wipe up semen after sexual activity. The Housewife's Napkin generally lasts for many months before needing to be laundered or disposed due to extremely infrequent sexual activity.
Mary Anne was a sex starved housewife. Her husband's lack of sexual performance and constant flaccid state rendered her Housewife's Napkin in clean and folded condition in her nightstand and rarely seeing any use.
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housewife spliffin 

A phrase refering to lesbian sex
My girlfriend and I just did a little housewife spliffin
housewife spliffin by Unicirn queen November 15, 2017

housewiferous 

To feel or perform in the manner of a housewife.
I'm feeling very housewiferous today. I think I'll scrub the floors.
housewiferous by Mare Bear June 12, 2009

housewife cocktail 

Got a bottle of josh cab and a couple beans. Me and the boys gonna rip some housewife cocktails tonight

compulsive housewife disorder 

A condition found in young women characterised by an uncontrollable urge to cook and clean for family and friends, and otherwise take care of them the way a housewife would, though the subject is not married or a mother. Also known as CHD.
My compulsive housewife disorder kicked in at that party last night. I cleaned up vomit, nursed a few unconscious girls, and cooked breakfast in the morning.

Desperate Housewife 

A shot; when you empty a bottle of pills into a glass of whiskey and just down it, and then you lie down somewhere and wonder what will happen to you.
On the Whiskey Tour, we got so drunk we almost let Mike take a Desperate Housewife, but then told him not to.

feral housewife 

So if a domestic housewife is the proper stay at home mom type, cooks, cleans, watches the kids kind of wife

Then that would make the feral housewife the slutty bratty wife, doesn’t have kids and they party and have crazy mind blowing sex all the time.
A: Man, screw getting a domestic housewife, I want me a feral housewife.

B: A what?

A: You know? A girl that can hold her own. Talks back. And can fuck like an animal.
feral housewife by RibCage98 October 19, 2020