immediate gratification

Someone who expects you to drop everything you're doing, to cater to their bullshit needs. They feel what they need you to do is more important than anything you could possibly be doing. Most are selfish assholes with zero consideration for anyone but themselves. Plus, chances are they haven't even tried to do it themselves and are just too damn lazy and inconsiderate to try.

If a child exhibits immediate gratification when asking for something, their sense of entitlement will grow worse with age. Never just jump up to do what is asked of you, make the person or child waits until you are done with what you are doing, showing that your time is just as
important as theirs.

by Overwhelmed and Pissed off mom March 16, 2014

Gasification

Someone who is extremely lactose intolerant and proceeds to formulate disgusting amounts of sulphuric gas.

Shorty: Yo gimme that carton it lookin amazing today

Husband: Please don’t shorty, gasification is going to happen you stinky bitch!

by Word Wizzard Man December 20, 2021

DeLayed gratification

A term for Money Laundering. Coined after the infamous house majority leader, Tom DeLay, after his conviction on money laundering charges.

John realized that most of the money he made was illegal, so he didn't mind some DeLayed gratification while he moved the money around in order to hide it's source.

by ohIkawtyou2 November 27, 2010

Self gratification

When a person goes out of their way to please oneself.

"Jane just signed up for charity work even though she only think of herself"
"She's just doing it for self gratification, man"

by Dreshi January 10, 2017

Instant Gratification Policing

When law enforcement officers unreasonably require that their commands be followed immediately and without hesitation. Almost all police abuse and killings stem from this inability to be patient, deescalate, and just listen to people first.

Instant Gratification Policing can happen when police say: "Turn around!" or "Put your hands behind your back!" or "Get on your knees!"

by Cigar Dave June 9, 2020

Christmas Gratification

Enjoying yourself sexually on Christmas as a gift.

I let him have some Christmas Gratification while I wrapped the kids presents.

by Emptychair361 January 5, 2023

Short-term hedonistic gratification

"Short term" so "What happens WITHIN your lifespan (rather than outside of it)" Hedonistic which means "Your own desire forged by your own will or pleasure seeking" and Gratification means "Satisfaction of desire or pleasure seeking. It's a semanticly redundant phrase that Jordan likes to get paid to spout that literally translates to "Now pleasure pleasure"

Dr. JeepJorp "You're obsessed with your own short-term hedonistic gratification! If you weren't so evil and psychopathic you would be more concerned with my kids getting the things THEY desire during THEIR lifespans! THEIR short term hedonistic gratification! If I had to do it then EVERYONE should have to do it! I mean, not for their own kids because they might not ever have them but for MY kids! They have a responsibility TO ME to do that think I said!"

Hym "No. I don't. You're trying to harvest my organs."

JeepJorp "You, um, owe it to YOURSELF! Yes, um, yeah I invoke your own self interest as the reasom you need to be harvested by me for my kids!"

Hym "I thought I wasn't owed anything. The only thing I'm owed in life is the choice between consenting to the harvesting of my organs and not doing that?"

JeepJorp "Yeah, um... It's Jesus! Jesus is, um, he said a thing though... Right? Like, he said stuff and... He loved having his organs harvested! He forgave us for... You know... Not knowing stuff, right?"

by Hym Iam January 11, 2024