conifer jumping

The art of jumping onto a coniferous tree (preferably in ur own back yard) and riding it as it falls from ur weight, to the floor. be wary of spiders hidden in the conifer if u have a fear of them and try to make sure the conifer is atleast 2 foot TALLER then urself (and dont over jump it). if u happen to be rather fat also be aware of the speed u will drop to the floor and if ur rather thin u may bounce back it helps if ur under the influence of alcohol, but i wudnt try drinking whilst jumping. If u have any neighbours that can clearly see u jumping on ur conifer dont forget to invite them to join, its guaranteed to win u plenty of friends. such act is also accociated with stair surfin and remember whatever u do, dont look back and never let go, happy jumping.

person #1:this party is boring hey have u got a conifer in ur garden?
house owner:yes why?
person #1:o no reason...
person #1:wanna go conifer jumping
person #2:sure!

the next day...

person #1:what happened my head hurts
person #2:i think u landed on ur head
person #1:doing what?
person #2:i dont remember...

by James AC August 30, 2006

condimental drift

The slow but steady movement of all available condiments whereby they all come to rest in front of one person at the table

Sis: Dad, why did the mustard, relish, horseradish, and barbecue sauce all end up in front of you?

Me: Haven't you ever heard of "condimental drift"?

by cyanocitta November 6, 2007

Condiment Pre-Cum

when you have a squeeze bottle of ketchup or mustard and that weird slimy vinegar and water comes out if you dont shake it

jeff: FUCK DUDE
john: what is it?
jeff: i forgot to shake the mustard bottle now theres Condiment Pre-Cum all over my hot dog
john: aww mate thats the worst

by PinntPinnt September 16, 2018

condiment whore

This is someone who comes to the drive through window and asks for more of everything that is free, such as more plasticware, paper plates, ketchup, dipping sauces, salt, pepper, honey, butter, and anything else that is generally given out for free.

Crazed Asian Women: "I want more honey, plates, forks, spoons and napkins."
KFC Worker 1: "OK, but I don't know why you need all that, all you ordered was a small mash potatoes."
Crazed Asain Women: "Just give it to me"
KFC Worker 1 to KFC Worker 2: "Dude she was a condiment whore"

by sammgs July 24, 2007

anti-condimentalist

Someone who believes food tastes better plain and opposes using ketchup, mayonnaise, mustard or relish.

David Smith flat out refuses to try mayo on his turkey sandwich. He's such an anti-condimentalist!

by blemsickle March 1, 2011

condimeat

Meat on Meat – i.e., what you put on your burger with when you’re not a rabbit and need more than mustard, ketchup, and mayonnaise to sustain your hunger.

Karl: Yo Wilbur what kinda condimeats you got on that burger?
Wilbur: Aw man I'm loading it up with some salami, bacon, and pastrami.

by samelchaz September 28, 2018

Condimentarianism

Dietary habits marked by the religious use of a condiment or condiments

Condimentarians view food as merely a vessel for the consumption of what are commonly considered culinary accessories. Many have a general affinity for various toppings, sauces, and pastes, but extremists often find themselves with a single condiment of choice with which they coat most of their intake.

Once again at the mercy of his condimentarianism, Frank tossed his French fries out the window when he realized that the drive-thru attendant had forgotten his ketchup.

by sproutsinbrussels August 18, 2007