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Phrase usually used to describe a sub-standard football player whose shooting ability leaves a lot to be desired.A variation on the classic phrase:"Couldn't hit a barn door from 10 paces".
"That Morientes fellow appears to be a waste of money.He couldn't hit a cow's arse with a banjo."
by J Strummer September 6, 2006
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¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: soul sand
by Doctorwho101 November 25, 2021
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couldn't care less

A phrase meaning "The degree to which I care about this could not possibly go lower." Most people naturally interpret it to mean "I care about this as little as any human could; my degree of care is 0".

But it can also be interpreted to mean "I care about this to a certain extent (which may be a little or a whole lot) and there is no way in hell my caring is ever going to drop."

Arguments about this can get pretty heated, with Team Couldn't Care Less tending to care more.
"Guess what happened on Dancing with the Stars last night?"
"Please don't bother me with that, I really couldn't care less about it."

"Mr. Politician, do you care about America?"
"I'm glad you asked that. I care about America more than anything in the world, and I couldn't care less, not in a million years. You'll have to pry my care from my cold dead hands."
by Lenoxus July 7, 2012
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Couldn't lead a dog on a leash

Total inability to act as commander, director, or guide; Complete failure to show the way to by going in advance
Jacques Chirac a good leader? He couldn't lead a dog on a leash.
by Eugene Pleymaker September 29, 2003
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couldn't be rocket science

Condi: Well, how hard could it be fly a jet?

LewisScooter: It couldn't be rocket science.

Condi: I could kiss you right now.

LewisScooter: (Crestfallen) But you won't.
by Little Red Robin Hood February 26, 2008
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Couldn't get a handy in a whorehouse

Someone with very poor closing skills, or a person who is incapable of performing even simple tasks. This term originates in Colorado for someone who goes to a brothel and is unable to negotiate even a simple sex act, such as manual stimulation.
How do you expect to sell twenty insurance policies when you couldn't get a handy in a whorehouse?
by RandyO'Reilly October 22, 2010
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couldn't've

compound contraction of "could not have"
She couldn't've done it, she's way too stupid for a plan that complex! Also see wouldn't've and shouldn't've.
by Sunob September 6, 2007
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