Blastoise King

Homosexual, a slur used to someone who is an idiot and should shut up.

You are SO Blastoise king!

by Blastoise King April 19, 2006

Blastoise, it's party time

The lyric that should have been on the terrible song, B.Y.O.B, by System of a Down (Syndrome).

You: Blastoise, It's party time!
Blastoise: YEAH11!! AND WE DON'T LIVE IN A FASCIST NATION!

by Ballin Colin July 1, 2011

Awkward Blastoise

When an awkward turtle is insufficient for the awkwardity of the situation, one must "evolve" their awkward turtle into the Awkward Blastoise. This hand configuration uses the pointer and pinky finger of the top hand as Hydro Pumps to douse the situation.

While visiting his girlfriend's parents, Rob farted at the dinner table very loudly. The mom implemented the awkward turtle, but was immediately over-ruled by the dad's more appropriate use of the Awkward Blastoise in order to sufficiently encompass the awkwardity of the situation.

by Cypress A 106 April 24, 2009

The Blastoise

A sex move in which you jizz on a girl's face, then when she's about to go wash it off, you whip out your bitchin' twin supersoakers and blast it off her face with twin streams of superpowered water.

Boy: Hey whats your favorite pokemon?
Man: I don't play pokemon.
Boy: Oh. Mine's the Blastoise.
Man: Go to your room.

by BTLighting February 22, 2011

French Blastoise

When you're fucking your retarded girlfriend as she is giving birth to your retarded baby, you scream "BLASTOISE, USE WATER CANNON" and you jizz at sonic speed, cutting the umbilical cord of the baby whilst also impregnating the retard with a new baby. French efficiency!

I am saving the huwhite race by doing a back to back French Blastoise on my retarded hispanic on ze pooblique spaeze.

by Pokeboi Kamasutra April 1, 2018

Unclick Blastoise Unclick

Unclick Blastoise Unclick

Unclick Blastoise Unclick

by HernandezToRodriguezScapeGoat April 7, 2025

Big Man Blastoise

A term used to describe someone who exudes unstoppable energy and confidence, often handling challenges with the same overwhelming power and cool demeanor as the Pokémon Blastoise. Can also refer to someone who takes charge in tough situations, acting as the "tank" in a group dynamic.

Jake rolled up to the basketball court like a Big Man Blastoise, hitting three-pointers and blocking every shot like it was nothing.

by Space_turtle January 27, 2025