Alberto

A one of a kind guy. A loving, funny, charismatic, athletic, and a good looking guy. When he sticks to someone he never lets go. Loves animals. Girls want to be with him and boys wish they are him. Can be a little loud and crazy at parties when he has a little too much to drink. Loves to be with friends and loves soccer! Works hard and never gives up, when he has something to do, he does it.. no hesitation. Usually Hispanic with dark hair and dark eyes.

Hey! Look at Alberto over there being the life of the party!

Yup.. sounds like Alberto.

by Corniyah December 23, 2020

Albertsons

A hell hole where even if you make friends the cock-sucking upper managers (namely the first and SECOND in charge) won't let you talk even if your work is done. Plus they complain about you and don't trust you if you're a teen, even if you're one of the better workers! And they wont fire the shitty ones!
And the customers bitch about every little thing! They try to scam you to save even just 5 cents! Fuck coupons too, that shit is lame, why the hell do we take other stores coupons?
Then there's the bottle room! That shit is so gross! It's never clean and there's always stinky bums back there.
Luckily there are some cool people! Like managers that let you go on Chipotle or Jamba runs! Or get you drunk! Checkers that are smokin' hot and funny! Starbucks girls that worked at hooters! And baggers that you can mess around with and have a good time!

"If you don't find something to do I'll find something for you"

"Why can't you take my coupon?!"
"Because it expired in 2005!"
"You guys suck i'm going to Safeway!"
"Have a good day! And I hope you get hit by a bus! bitch!"

"Albertsons would be so much better if I chose who worked there!"

"Albertsons should have a back room with stripper poles!"

by bag boy April 9, 2008

Albertsons

The most prestigious company ever with a hiring bar much higher than FAANG and quant.

Google employee: My TC is 500k!
Jane Street employee: pfft! My TC is 800 .....
*an Albertsons employee walks in
*@Google & @Jane Street immediately kneel down and start sucking @Albertsons' prestigious balls

by marseylover August 9, 2022

Alberto

Alberto is the most sweet, kind and loving person. He is often very shy but once you get to know him he is super great he is the best person you will ever meet.

Girl 1: OMG he is super nice

Girl 2: he is probably a Alberto

by Olivia M. Brown January 8, 2020

Dante Alberti

A bi-pedal organism of the mammalian class. Is able to live alongside humans with little assistance, though will become quickly enraged when communicated with. When the presence of a 'Dante Alberti' is detected, immediate backup must be called, preferably armed with bananas ( required to distract the creature ), and Russian made RPK light machine gun. Upon containment, immediate termination is recommended.

Person 1: Fuck 'Dante Alberti'.
Person 2: Ikr. fuck that guy.

by serialtypist November 14, 2020

Alberto Gonzales

(v) To dodge out of an appointment previously made by making the excuse that "You didn't recall" then, being pressed about your flakiness, responding "It's classified"

Jerry ducked out on going to the movies, then when I asked him about it he Alberto Gonzalesed me!


I didn't want to go to my family reunion, so I Alberto Gonzalesed out of it.

by straightedgepunk123 June 26, 2008

Alberto

Someone that you'll never fully know. As soon as you think you've figured him out he'll do something that surprises you. Maybe he's hurt you in some way, but you'll find out a reason for that deeper than you ever could've imagined.

Alberto is a very deep person.

by Djyjjfhjdgnhdcbv January 6, 2019