Turtle Head

When you get home after a long day needing to take a gargantuan shit and so you run to the toilet and knock over your kid in the hallway and slam the bathroom door shut and wait for that sweet sweet moment when you gloriously defecate all over the bathroom but instead end up straining your asscheeks for an hour only for a tiny ass piece of shit to slightly poke its way out of your asshole. That piece of shit is called a turtle head and know you have to choose to behead your turtle either by straining your asscheeks closed or pulling the piece of shit out with your fingers and now your hand smells of ass and your kid is crying in the hallway and you still have to make dinner and oh fuck why am I still alive

Mom: Jimothy, alight from your dwelling in order to receive nutrition handcrafted by your own mother.
Jimothy, tearfully: Mother, how I wish to fulfill that which you have requested of me! But alas, I am unable to, for I am stuck in the predicament of having to deal with a Turtle Head!
Mother, wailing: Jimothy, my dear beloved son! How I weep for you! How I mourn! That you should have to deal with such an ordeal! I am so deeply sorry, but alas, am unable to help.

by BaddSpelur October 31, 2019

turtle head

When a dick is so small, that it appears it to look like a turtles head poking out of its shell.

Boy 1: Man, my balls are really cold right now.

Boy 2: Yeah, same. I hate when I a get turtle head

by MedicatedSloth July 13, 2022

turtle head

turtle head is a phenomenon when you have a dookie so large it peeks out the anus. referring to a scared turtle

dude can you hurry in the bathroom i have major turtle head.

by All america bitch December 24, 2018

turtle head

the little hard piece of shit at the very tip of ones butt hole

damn, i can't walk, i have a turtle head

by reyrey October 29, 2003

Turtle heading

Refraining from such act as "pooing" when your turd comes out a little and then goes back in!

Right now im Turtle heading.

Dam i need the crapper, i'm turtle heading!

by Shady Figure October 5, 2011

turtle head

The head of a turtle.

"See that big lump on the neck of that turtle, my son? That's a turtle head."

by Commissioner Bumhead May 6, 2005

turtle head

the result of you having to poo reelie bad, so that the poop is actually coming out of the rectal area before you've reached a proper waste facility aka a restroom aka THE CRAPPER!

"shiittt mannnn, you gunna pull over at this next rest stop... i gutta poo soo bad!! seriously dude, i'm turtle headin' this shit!!"

by Koala Beer July 13, 2005