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springwells

springwells is a blog read exclusively by the most culturally erudite among the internet's élite. it provides cutting, relevant commentary on the most pressing of contemporary issues as well as cultural criticism of the highest caliber. springwells: the truth, for free. springwells.blogspot.com
baller #1: hey dude, did you see the new topical.tirade on springwells?

baller #2: of course i did. i read that shit like it's my goddamned bible.

scrub: what are you guys talking about?

baller #1: we are speaking of something which will forever escape yr understanding.
by learnedblogger June 9, 2010
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spring roll

Tim had the smallest spring roll I ever did see!
by alliebee November 10, 2007
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Springville, Utah

A rest stop on the way to a ski resort. A random tiny, racist, mountain, two-bit, homophobic, redneck town next to Provo. There's literally nothing to do besides hanging out at the pool, which has either too much urine from the 3:30 kiddy lessons or pollution, or the poorly-planned sewage canal that runs right next to it on 900 South (I use to be a lifeguard there). The football games can be pretty fun, but only if you enjoying freezing your ass. The Mormons control the city, which isn't a bad thing, because I'm a Mormon, but my bishop was also the sheriff, which made it awkward at times.

Oh yeah, and there's no hot chicks. The cousin-to-cousin marriages have declined since the '50s, but people who have been there forever are a by-product of incestuous relationships. Everyone is of Swedish-American heritage, so all the cuisines are completely unhealthy, which explains why there a bunch of lard-asses in Springville, Utah.
Guy #1: This sucks. Springville, Utah sucks. Lets go to Provo and hang out at the mall. Maybe some easy Timpview girls will be there.

Guy #2: I concur, but the rich Timpview girls may or may not wish to wish to hang out with working class trash such as us. For the residents of Springville, Utah will forever endure the injustices of socio-economics.

Guy #1: Well, I'm hungry. I don't want to eat at the (insert Swedish-sounding surname here)sen's house again. McDonald's is probably much more healthier.

Guy #2: Yeah, you're definitely right.
by YoYoMa's Love Child February 28, 2011
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Spring Roll

A very skinny asian that uses extremely well-learned chinglish to communicate with other people.
John: Sup, Wang!
Wang: WAT U DOINGG ME NO SPEAKA ENGLASH TOODEY
John: Can you say that more clearly?
Bob: He can't, he is obviously a spring roll.
by Its me again October 3, 2009
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Spring Roll

His spring roll is good but there's a reason orders always come in 2
by Queenb13 April 12, 2021
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mexican spring roll

by Digglemydigglet January 25, 2013
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Springhole

Colloquialism for Springfield, MO. A town defined by its violence, huge homeless population, and bigotry. Once you're here, it's hard to leave, despite how shitty a place it is to live.
I can't wait to get the fuck out of Springhole!
by Word puncher December 23, 2020
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