The Long and the Short

A phrase used at the end of an unbelievably long and boring story to summarize what you have just heard, thereby giving you both the long version and the short version of the story. It is often confused with the phrase to make a long story short, however, the speaker using this phrase has no intention of making the story short.

I want to tell you all about my amazing day, after borrowing your car this morning I went to the supermarket. At the supermarket I bought organic vegetables, but was not able to buy organic tomatoes. After the supermarket, I went to the hardware store ... When I was leaving the football stadium, this black sports car came racing towards me and collided into me head-on. The police were called, but no one was injured. I estimate the damage to your car will cost at least $20,000 to repair. The long and the short, I totaled your car!!

by Superdragout January 19, 2010

fall short

fail to reach a certain standard or amount, fail to attain something, be insufficient

Adam fell short of cash and had to borrow from me.
When food supplies fall short, they seek our help.

by yasserare April 27, 2012

That’s a short

That’s an unfortunate situation

Man, just got a 50 on that math test
That’s a short

by FratHouseOnFranklin October 14, 2019

Two olives short of a martini

Missing both your nuts. taken from fresh prince of bel air

"Will: My friend knows this sqaw that he's completely in love with. But this particular sqaw just broke up with his best friend. Now, he don't wanna diss his boy or nothin, but he'd like to know how long is a good time to wait befire he... raidsthis sqaw's village, if you know what I'm sayin.
Philip: Ummmmm. Interesting you should bring that up. I had a case like that come before me just recently.
Will: Really?
Philip: Word up. Now this guy started going out with his best friend's girl hours after they broke up.
Will: Whoa, he waited that long?
Philip: Well, this other guy didn't think it was that long. He was very jealous and he shot his friend.
Will: Dead?
Philip: No. Let's say he's, uh, two olives short of a martini.
Will: OHHHHHH!
Philip: So before your friend starts raiding any villages, he better be sure its worth it."

by i am nobody and i am sombody January 5, 2010

National throw short people day

On October 21, you can anybody under 5’6” with no permission needed

Prepare to be yeeted for it is national throw short people day

by Pug? October 6, 2021

Throw short people month

During the month of October, you may throw any short person, 5’6 or under, as far as you want whenever you want. Have funnn

Hey! It’s throw short people month! Let’s go throw some

by Hands babab October 20, 2020

shortbread squirt

the uncontrolled expulsion of crummy faeces during extreme bouts of laughter.

Catch SNL last night?

F yeah, laughed so hard i did a shortbread squirt.

by GozUnlimited July 14, 2016