The entirely heterosexual act of copulating with other males in order to increase one's 'body count'. This has been popularised lately due to the 'modern woman' having an intrinsic repulsion to virginic males.
(Note: In the contemporary dating scene, a body count below 17 is widely considered to be 'sub-incel numbers' and is described by many as a form of C&B torture.)
There are many sexual benefits to padding. These include:
Confidence boost, penis confidence boost, better posture, better thrusting technique and power, ashwaganda, and on-demand BJs.
Several peer-reviewed papers have come forth with conclusive evidence that performing fellatio on a male penis corresponds with improved cunnilingus proficiency by up to 15%. World renowned pussyologist Dr Pussymandias famously stated:
"Yo, if yuh OPE/H oral penile ejaculations per hour index high, dat mean seh yuh know how fi please di Female Sexual Organs real good. Di two a dem have a strong link, yuh see me?" (note: Dr Pussymandias has recently had his academic and professional wrestling titles stripped for LARPing as a Jamaican man.)
(Note: In the contemporary dating scene, a body count below 17 is widely considered to be 'sub-incel numbers' and is described by many as a form of C&B torture.)
There are many sexual benefits to padding. These include:
Confidence boost, penis confidence boost, better posture, better thrusting technique and power, ashwaganda, and on-demand BJs.
Several peer-reviewed papers have come forth with conclusive evidence that performing fellatio on a male penis corresponds with improved cunnilingus proficiency by up to 15%. World renowned pussyologist Dr Pussymandias famously stated:
"Yo, if yuh OPE/H oral penile ejaculations per hour index high, dat mean seh yuh know how fi please di Female Sexual Organs real good. Di two a dem have a strong link, yuh see me?" (note: Dr Pussymandias has recently had his academic and professional wrestling titles stripped for LARPing as a Jamaican man.)
Ani: "Have you guys seen Alvin? I haven't seen him lately."
Niraj: "Nah mayne, I ain't even seen my own ass ASSHOLE since last year. An I ain't even gay!"
Ani: "Erm... I'm going to ignore that. Can you answer my question?"
Niraj: "Aint he yo boyfriend? Shiiiiet, I may have hit dat plump ass ass myself..."
Ani: "The last thing I heard him mutter under his breath was something to do with padding."
Niraj: "Bredda... bredda..."
Ani: "I looked it up on Urban Dictionary and found something about sticking tampons to walls... I am at my wits end."
Niraj: "Bredda the only thing getting Urbanly Dicked is your mans. He's getting DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKED."
Ani: "Erm... isn't that gay?"
Niraj: "Actually no, that is a misconception. He is merely painstakingly investing in his sexual marketplace value in order to be half the man you always wanted him to be."
Ani: "That sounds quite ga-"
Niraj: "Bare man BAREBACKING. Bare man BAREBACKING. Bare man BAREBACKING. Bare man BAREBACKING."
Ani: *sucks own pussy*
Niraj: *goes bollocks-on-the-wall insane*
Alvin: "I am having sex with men in order to increase my body count :) this is called padding."
The End
Niraj: "Nah mayne, I ain't even seen my own ass ASSHOLE since last year. An I ain't even gay!"
Ani: "Erm... I'm going to ignore that. Can you answer my question?"
Niraj: "Aint he yo boyfriend? Shiiiiet, I may have hit dat plump ass ass myself..."
Ani: "The last thing I heard him mutter under his breath was something to do with padding."
Niraj: "Bredda... bredda..."
Ani: "I looked it up on Urban Dictionary and found something about sticking tampons to walls... I am at my wits end."
Niraj: "Bredda the only thing getting Urbanly Dicked is your mans. He's getting DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKED."
Ani: "Erm... isn't that gay?"
Niraj: "Actually no, that is a misconception. He is merely painstakingly investing in his sexual marketplace value in order to be half the man you always wanted him to be."
Ani: "That sounds quite ga-"
Niraj: "Bare man BAREBACKING. Bare man BAREBACKING. Bare man BAREBACKING. Bare man BAREBACKING."
Ani: *sucks own pussy*
Niraj: *goes bollocks-on-the-wall insane*
Alvin: "I am having sex with men in order to increase my body count :) this is called padding."
The End
by BoganBumfucker March 30, 2023
Get the Padding mug.Protection against splashback via loading the toilet bowl with large amounts of toilet paper, creating a cushion-like padding in which poo may be gently dumped.
"Man, I used so much fucking Toilet Padding it almost clogged the pipes! Fucking half the whole roll man! If I hadn't, that shit man, it would have soaked my ass like a depth charge had gone off."
by Arkhangelsk July 19, 2009
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a Peruvian bear with a surprisingly good grasp of English that was found and taken in by an Upper middle class family in London.For some reason carried around a suitcase containing Marmalade sandwiches
These days he would have been banged up under asylum laws and arse raped by a huge Jamaican called Horace. He would have then been re-leased from I.D.C to spend his days working in a McDonalds in the Bedford area
These days he would have been banged up under asylum laws and arse raped by a huge Jamaican called Horace. He would have then been re-leased from I.D.C to spend his days working in a McDonalds in the Bedford area
by bigmeuprudeboy September 11, 2003
Get the paddington bear mug.(v) street slanging for licking a toad to get high. This process was made popular by the show family guy and is also known as frenching the prince and doing kermit.
by BOSOX2007 August 17, 2009
Get the lilly-padding mug.I was makin sex with my girlfriend when I pulled out and cummed on her stuffed paddington bear. Hence, Peek a boo paddington!
by LeRenardS13 March 8, 2008
Get the peek a boo paddington mug.by Islemage February 14, 2018
Get the Padding the Net mug.1. The blank leaves added at the end of a thin publication so as to form a volume with sufficient thickness to be rounded and backed and/or to be lettered on the spine. Unfortunately, the paper used for this purpose is usually of an inferior quality, and becomes embrittled and transfers its acidity to the leaves of the publication. Also called "filler," or "filling." 2. A method of securing ruled, printed or blank leaves by the application of a padding compound, and sometimes a cloth or other reinforcing liner, to one edge (frequently the top) of the sheets which have been jogged even on the binding edge and placed under pressure. Special padding troughs, clamps and presses are used to facilitate padding large quantities at one time. See also: PAD COUNTER (2) ;PADDING COMPOUND . 3. A method of applying dyestuff to the grain surface of a leather or tawed skin, particularly the latter, in cases where it is not feasible to immerse the skins in the dyestuff liquor because of the increased fullness and decreased stretch which will result from such immersion.
by VAKI5 November 2, 2003
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