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lumburgh

Named after Office Space's Bill Lumburgh, this term applies to anyone in a useless job who's boss makes them feel important-- like coming in on the weekends, or getting dumped with a bunch of reports that are alledgely important, but are really the boss's work that he/she doesn't know how to do.
John: "Hey Bob, you going out with the rest of us Saturday night?"
Bob: "Nah, I can't. I've got these reports to do."
John: "How did you get lumburghed into that? That sucks. Screw your boss, get your drinking shoes on."
by ExNWPers August 8, 2005
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morning lumber

equivalent to morning wood, but infinitely more manly and more girthy sounding.
"Man, this morning lumber is no joke. That's the second pair of Levi's I've torn through this week!"

I had such fat morning wood, it would take a lumberjack to cut that shit down.

Liz's most noticeable feature as she woke up was her morning breath. For Mark though, it was definitely his morning lumber. It nearly bruised her ribs as he rolled over.
by CougHunter February 18, 2010
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softwood lumber

When your boner kinks when you try to shove it in her ass but she clinches.
She wouldn't relax when I tried to plow her ass and left me with softwood lumber.
by MVCV007 November 29, 2016
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lumber party

Similar to an all-female "slumber party", a lumber party is an overnight between male friends.

Lumber refers to dicks. All male party=dicks. Therefore, lumber party.

Similar also to a "sausagefest", but a sleepover.
Tim: Dude did you go to Tom's sleepover last night?

George: Naw man, that was a total lumber party.
by grovecityfan March 31, 2010
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Lumberjacking off

The disposal of morning wood through the act of masturbating.
Guy: After the dream I had this morning, I had some lumberjacking off to do...
by JJtheSeme August 12, 2010
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Lumbersexual

A not-so-manly man dressing like a lumberjack (although a lot more refined) and sporting a beard that has the volume of a lumberjacks beard and the groom of a hipster, cashing in on the "rugged, outdoor stereotype"
Most of these guys aren't very good with their hands and only want to seem so because God forbid you would get those soft lotion treated hands dirty.
Lumberjacks are typically known for their strength and being able to work with their hands. Most lumbersexuals would be stumped changing a tire.
Dave is such a lumbersexual, in his work boots and flannelette shirt and that well groomed beard.
Yeah you should see him trying to check his oil though haha!
by RS300boi January 25, 2016
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chopping the lumber down

The first jerk of the day. This is the reason god invented morning wood. Popularized by Alligator Dave in the song Spank My Monkey.
Man 1: I had a mean case of morning wood today.

Man 2: What did you do?

Man 1: I got started chopping the lumber down of course.
by I got you back July 19, 2009
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