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Land one on the beach 

To "land one on the beach", or "landed one on the beach" is to take a shit that is so big that at least half of its unbroken length sticks up out of the water of the toilet bowl and clings to the porcelain like a beached whale taking its last breath.
Dude, you've got to see this. I just "landed one on the beach", It was such a big shit it brushed my nuts when it finally broke loose and fell over. I love it when I "land one on the beach" I never flush those, so the next guy can see how insignificant his shit capacity is!
Related Words

Land Titanic 

Amy: "The Land Titanic!" Hermes:"That was one really big bus!"
Land Titanic by Dark Lord Cthulhu December 23, 2011

Land of chips and lager 

Land of chips and lagar is the the title of a popular version of the song "Land of Hope and Glory" adapted to suit Cockneys way of life in the United Kingdom. The song first appeared publicly in the TV Series "Spitting Image"

The lyrics of the popular Cockney song:

"Land of chips and lager,
'Ere we go, 'ere we go,
Three Tandoori and chips, then
Hire a crap video,
Oggy, Oggy, Oggy!
Oi! You staring at me?
You're going to get your,
Fucking head kicked in.

You're going to get your,
Fucking head kicked in."
A bunch of Cockney Yobs are at the "Last Night of the Proms" music concert, and as soon as "Land of Hope and Glory" start playing, the yobs start singing along using their version of the words, starting with "Land of chips and lager..." etc

land manatee 

A very large dispicable human being with bright blue eyes and no neck RR. Bearing a striking resemblance to a wild manatee, she tends to have a large ass where the bulk of the blubber is stored. Her land waddle has been known to severly injure small children, and crack the city streets that she prowls on.
Yeah dawg, can't believe you hit and quit that land manatee.
land manatee by truehustla October 22, 2010

Land of Cokayne 

An imaginary land of idleness, luxury, ease and plenty.

Where physical comforts and pleasures are always immediately at hand and where the harshness of medieval peasant life does not exist.
Like Atlantis and El Dorado, the land of Cokayne was a fictional utopia, a place where, in a parody of paradise, idleness and gluttony were the principal occupations. In Specimens of Early English Poets (1790), George Ellis printed a 13th century French poem called "The Land of Cokaigne" where

the houses were made of barley sugar and cakes, the streets were paved with pastry, and the shops supplied goods for nothing.

According to Herman Pleij,Dreaming of Cokaigne: Medieval Fantasies of the Perfect Life (2001):

roasted pigs wander about with knives in their backs to make carving easy, where grilled geese fly directly into one's mouth, where cooked fish jump out of the water and land at one's feet. The weather is always mild, the wine flows freely, sex is readily available, and all people enjoy eternal youth.

Cokaigne was a "medieval peasant’s dream, offering relief from backbreaking labor and the daily struggle for meager food."

The Brothers Grimm collected and retold the fairy tale in Das Märchen vom Schlaraffenland (The Tale About the Land of Cokayne).

In the 1820s, the name Cokaigne came to be applied jocularly to London, as the land of Cockneys, and thus "Cokaigne", though the two are not linguistically connected otherwise. The composer Edward Elgar used the title "Cokaigne" for his concert overture and suite evoking the people of London, Cokaigne (In London Town) (1901)
Land of Cokayne by Heike Makatsch October 21, 2009

Land a Marlin

If you pull out after anal sex and a huge shit log follows your penis and lands on the bed, the way a big fish would flop onto the floor of a boat after it's pulled out of the water, congratulations...you've landed a marlin!
When I get done with you, you'll land a marlin that would make Hemmingway proud.
Land a Marlin by B. H. McNultey December 31, 2007