Skip to main content

jalapeño dick

1. An extremely painful condition often caused by putting hands on penis (during urination, etc.) after chopping up raw jalapeño peppers (for fresh salsa, etc.)without using latex gloves. The condition is worsened by washing the area with warm soapy water.
2. An alleged method of torture used by the Mexican government while interrogating dissidents.
1. John missed the second half of the Super Bowl due to a bad case of jalapeño dick.
2. Juan is a survivor of jalapeño dick from the 1968 protests.
by salsero63 January 12, 2008
mugGet the jalapeño dick mug.

jalapeno blowjob

When a person, typically a female, prepares salsa containing jalapeno peppers subsequently performs felacio using their hand and the oil gets onto the penis. Thereby inducing a burning sensation on both the penis and the mouth of the blow-job giver.
My wife made a great salsa, but i got a jalapeno blowjob later that night and had to take a shower to make the burn stop.
by Drewski Laflair June 15, 2017
mugGet the jalapeno blowjob mug.

jalapeener

It's a traditionnal way of having sex between a man and a women. It refers to the situation where a guy put some chili peppers (jalapenos) on his member to add a spicy feeling to the sexual relation.
Here, feel that Jalapeener
by le yable December 16, 2008
mugGet the jalapeener mug.

Sloppy Jalopy Fartcake

When you stretch a woman's bunghole pretty wide, and take a shit in her ass, and fill it up with all sorts of magical drinks, beverages and other fizzy stuff. You then jam a buttplug in her asshole for 30 minutes, the whole time she is running around a racetrack full of crippled deer in order to make the concoction rather fizzy.

She will then release the plug this, causing a rather large farting sound due to the built up gas, and a nice mess on the floor. Proceed to pick up this mess with a flask, and pour it into her mouth while farting down her nostrils. This will cause her to suffocate and regurgitate the delightful product that you have made in order to feed to your cat, who will enjoy it thoroughly, or your money back.
L: Dude I feel like a Sloppy Jalopy Fartcake with my bitch tonight.
C: Sounds delightful.
by Billy Bob Goat II June 19, 2009
mugGet the Sloppy Jalopy Fartcake mug.

Jalapeño Bloodtrain

The act of stuffing as many jalapeños into a woman's vagina during her menstrual cycle.

The spices of the jalapeños help clot the blood and relieve bloating.
My cramping hurt so bad until I got jalapeño bloodtrained. My mom is great!
by BobDan May 1, 2014
mugGet the Jalapeño Bloodtrain mug.

jalapeno monkey

The art of entering a female from behind whilst dipping ones testicles or sack in a jar of Jalapeno's. This must be incorporated while the girl has Banana skins sellotaped to each armpit.
Fuck sake Frank, those banana's look savage in your pits, but man my sack is burnin with these cunting jalapenos! Help me out with a reach-around you lazy jew or else this Jalapeno Monkey will get messy!
by Twish September 16, 2007
mugGet the jalapeno monkey mug.

jaloproctitis

Rectal burning caused by defecating spicy food. (I didn't make this up).
"The chili you made last night left me with a pretty severe case of jaloproctitis this morning."
by j. rabbit richards April 8, 2006
mugGet the jaloproctitis mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email