Hypothetitard

Adj.
A person who is seemingly incapable of answering a question based upon a hypothetical situation due to what they deem a lack of realism

Tom: Hey Jim, if you were on a desert island and only had three objects with you what would they be?
Jim: Well how did I get to the desert island?
Tom: I dunno, you just appeared there I guess
Jim: That's not possible, and where are these objects coming from anyway? Why can't I take more stuff with me?
Tom: Dude, you're such a hypothetitard

by SleepySasquatch December 6, 2009

New York Hypothetical

A devious hypothetical that requires a man to pick between performing the actions of One Guy One Screwdriver or having their balls jumped on 10 times, shot with a paintball gun 10 times, and tazed 3 times all while on camera

I was trying to sleep but my homie rolled over and gave me the New York Hypothetical and completely ruined my night

by JahPresto July 21, 2022

hypothetical adventure

when you are zoning out and possibly high as shit and you go on thinking about a hypothetical situation in great detail for a long time

guy 1: dude what are you looking at?
guy 2: oh! yeah man i just went on a hypothetical adventure thinking about what would happen if I ever told my wife about the night a did her sister, and apparently she would take a bat to my car and then put me in the hospital
guy 1: yeah I can see that happening

by Matt Clements January 13, 2008

affective shift hypothesis

Haselton, M. G. & Buss, D. M. (2001). Emotional reactions following first-time sexual intercourse: The affective shift hypothesis. Personal Relationships, 8, 357-369.
Abstract: This article develops the Affective Shift Hypothesis, which suggests that women experience positive affective shifts following first-time intercourse as a means to facilitate a longer-term, more committed relationship. The hypothesis predicts a negative affective shift in men who pursue a short-term mating strategy; this shift is hypothesized to function to curtail commitment by motivating the man to terminate the relationship.

177 Ss in Study 1 documented sex differences predicted by the affective shift hypothesis. 203 Ss in Study 2, using a somewhat different methodology involving reports of presex and postsex feelings, found that men with high numbers of sex partners, but not men with low numbers of partners, experienced a decrease in their partner's physical and sexual attractiveness following first-time sexual intercourse. In contrast, women, more than men, experienced increases in feelings of love and commitment following first-time sex.

by Jake January 16, 2004

shitposting hypothesis

A hypothesis proposed by C.P.and A.P., which stipulates that the incidence of irrelevant comments increases proportionally to the duration of existence of a group chat conversation originally formed with a single, focused purpose.

Our group chat regarding grass-root political organizing in Cyprus has deteriorated into relentless shitposting about petty politics and vegan recipes, confirming our shitposting hypothesis.

by piklachou September 9, 2021

Hypothermicide

Causing the loss of life by removal of body heat.

He committed hypothermicide when he dropped her in the freezing river and she froze.

by thegardengnome April 21, 2010

Hypothetical chivalry

Proposing a situation wherein had you, say, a certain object you would use it to be chivalrous.

Girl: It's cold.

Boy: If I had my coat with me I would give it to you.

Girl: Thank you for your hypothetical chivalry.

by Miss Jaffah May 6, 2011